Yes, yes, YES! I never thought I would be one to approach and reach out to mama’s struggling with colicky/high needs babies, but experience changes you and makes you want to help. Great post!

Stacey, sometimes I’ve wondered if we go through this to become more empathic and sensitive to others going through the same thing. Looking at it that way certainly helps ease the burden a bit anyway.

I had family that claimed they understood…my husband was colic, my mil said she had to lay him on a pillow in her lap n rock him side to side, aall night ….but thing is when my daughter,2nd child…came n was colic…my mil was so quick to judge…y i didnt keep up with the house, y i was constantly irritated at my hubby mostly…i felt no support..n like this says..helpless, unworthy, never ending….i just dont understand, if she went through it…y she acted that way…she claims she still kept her house spotless…..???

I look around and think why me! What have I done to deserve this. My little guy is unhappy more than he is happy. Somedays I love him but I don’t like him. Having a high needs baby is exhausting – I have got to the stage where I hate to meet up with friends as he just moans and screams – He is nearly 10 months old and each day I get through is a day I don’t have to travel again. This is sad however I also feel so alone and have no idea what I can do except just accept him for who he is and say to myself – this is just a phase.

I smiled as I read this. Because it so perfectly describes what life with a fussy infant was like. And it feels so good to read someone else’s words describe my own experience. There will always be in comfort in those that understand.

Reading this actually brought tears to my eyes because it echoed my thoughts exactly and let me know I’m not alone. You are exactly right; if they haven’t experienced it, they just don’t know. My husband and I were blessed with this baby (one month ago) after 11 years of trying, and I hate to admit that my thoughts and feelings aren’t always positive ones. I’ll just try to keep my eyes trained on that light at the end of the tunnel…

Shea, You don’t know how many parents I’ve talked to who feel SO SO guilty….they tried so long and so hard to have kids, and now are really struggling with feelings of ‘maybe we shouldn’t have tried so hard’. I think we mostly know deep down it will be worth it, it’s just so incredibly hard at the beginning. Hang in there!

So agree! It’s like a breath of fresh air to hear from someone who knows exactly what you’re going/have gone through.

I think you’re right Lisa…once you can accept who he is and know this will pass, it does makes things easier. But it still doesn’t make things EASY. It’s hard to accept that life and motherhood may not be like you hoped and imagined. It’s really a grieving process. Personally I find it helps to focus (really focus) on all the wonderful things that make my ‘spirited’ child special…and it gives me a new appreciation for him!

Karen, I don’t think she really remembers what it was like. I was talking with one of my mom’s friends when my son was colicky and she had the BEST response I’ve heard. She was mid/late 60′s, and when she heard Sammy was colicky, she was immediately compassionate and talked about how hard it was when he now-40 year old son was colicky. She said she remembered it like yesterday, and said it just turned her world upside down. It was so nice to hear from someone 40 years later who realized it’s actually a BIG deal. It’s short-lived, but can really make a huge impact in so many ways. P.S. My house was a total disaster when Sammy was a baby

Great articles! I read the colic primer and fussy baby! What a relief to see what I am going through is EXACTLY what other mothers go through. My son had a hard start to life and spent his first four weeks in hospital having his heart repaired ( he had a valve that did not fully form). It’s so hard not to blame myself for not just his heart but now his colicky behaviour…and hard not to keep dissecting every aspect of my pregnancy…

I know I just have to move on and allow myself to accept all of this was no fault of mine( as the doctors keep telling me) and just continue to do everything I can do for him.

I am tired of other moms telling me “he’s hungry”…as if I don’t know when my baby is hungry…or did you burp him? really as if I don’t know to burp my son!…I have tried everything friends and doctors have recommended, oval, gripe water, pumping and then bottle feeding, skin to skin, different sleep positions, cutting out foods from my diet…now i think it’s just accepting it and taking it one day at a time. Mornings and evenings are by far the WORST for him!

One day at a time…Thanks for a really great read. I will likely come back and read this many times over the next little while!

This is so well said!! I am so happy to have come across this article! I have a good number of friends that have babies very close to my sons age and they just don’t seem to understand! My family either! Everyone says things like just put him down hell quit fussing or fall asleep but he doesn’t! He’s not like their babies or how their children were! He’s different he’s unique. His fussing turns to screams till he’s blue in the face. And I didn’t have a baby to leave cry or neglect. I just wish there were someone here that understood!

There are good days and bad but sometimes think the good ones are far between. I love my little girl Kaia but sometimes I cry with her. It can make me feel as a mother that I’m not doing a goog job. All though my husband says that I am super mom and he couldn’t do what I do. It’s a releaf to hear others go through the same thing as me and some even worse. But in my heart I do know that all this hard work it is worth it in the end.