Apr
Looking Back on Colic
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I find it somewhat therapeutic to revisit some of the horrific memories from the past 7 months.
Adjusting to mommyhood was tough for me and on top of that, Greta was/is not an “easy” baby.
Yes, I understand that all babies require tons and tons of attention. And I understand that first time moms go through a huge adjustment period.
But I also came to understand that Greta cried, a lot. More than the typical baby. And it sucked. Greta would cry and fuss for hours out of the day. The majority of her awake time was spent fussing or screaming.
I remember when she was probably a month old being at my parents’ house, my dad was walking her around the house showing her different things. I called my husband, Russ, ecstatic, “Greta has been awake for 30 minutes without crying.” It was that unusual.
I could not take her out anywhere for the first 6 weeks. It wasn’t just that she would start screaming, it was that she would KEEP screaming. No one could stop her.
Seriously. She would go for at least an hour straight with no pause (and good lord, I know that there are colicky babies who go for hours and hours. God bless those parents, and those poor babies).
I had people tell me to ignore the crying. “Babies cry. Do what you normally would do.” I tried to heed this advice.
I remember taking Greta for a walk. She started crying after 5 minutes, per usual, but this day I decided to walk through it. Because everyone seemed to think that either A. She would stop crying or B. I would enjoy the walk despite the screams.
Well, neither happened. She screamed for 40 minutes straight. And there is NOTHING relaxing about walking with a screaming baby.
I think most people thought I exaggerated her fussiness. There are a few people who were able to witness her crying jags. But most other people saw a “typical” baby when they were hanging out with us. I think a different environment or different faces kept her distracted or entertained for brief periods of time.
When I read the definition that Dr. Weissbluth describes for colicky/extremely fussy babies, I turned to my husband Russ and said, “THAT IS GRETA!” The fact that such a definition exists made me feel a little better–there had to be other parents out there struggling then.
Unfortunately, I didn’t know/don’t know any of these parents. Well, that is a lie. I know one set of parents–my parents.
Apparently I was an extremely fussy baby. Go figure. So I had my mom, and a slew of other people who did not seem to believe me when I told them that Greta was pretty tough. Who knows, maybe I’m making that up. But I do know that I felt like no one understood. At all.
Now that Greta is close to 7 months old, life is dramatically better for all of us. I can bring Greta into stores without thinking twice. The other day I realized I actually pumped gas with Greta in the car and she didn’t start screaming.
We have actually been places with Greta for more than an hour without having to leave (for months, Greta needed to sleep pretty much after an hour or less of being awake–and this baby only naps in her swing during the day. Trust me, we have tried all other options.).
Greta’s awake time is often times filled with smiles and laughter. She is still a pretty high maintenance baby, but I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
She has character, and keeps us on our toes. No reverting to the same old same old with Greta around!
For months we tried to figure out if there was a cause for her fussiness to no avail and we will never know why she was so fussy.
Her pediatrician is pretty sure that she is a very sensitive baby, who was colicky.
I wouldn’t wish an extremely fussy/colicky baby on anyone. But I know that someday my path will cross with a mom who is losing her mind because she has such a baby, and has no one in her life who really understands, and I will be there for that mom.
I should also note that I realize how lucky I am to have a healthy baby. I do not take that for granted, but in all honesty, when I am stressed, anxious and generally not in the best frame of mind, it doesn’t seem to lessen any of these emotions to tell myself, “at least I have a healthy baby.”
I am glad that things have settled down enough that I can fully appreciate the gift that I have been given. Okay, so maybe there are still days that I don’t exactly see it as a “gift” but every single day there are at least moments that I do.
And I love that baby girl more than I ever thought possible, because, no lie, I didn’t know if I was ever going to reach that feeling with Greta. And that was really scary.
If you are a mom who was blessed with that feeling from the moment you laid eyes on your little one and never wavered with that love, you are fortunate. But just remember, it doesn’t work that way for everyone. And that is okay. I really believe that.
Amy lives in New England with her husband Russell and their adorable three year old daughter Greta. Amy works as a middle school teacher and is amazed at the parallels between adolescents and toddlers. She maintains her sanity by running, baking, and laughing.
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Apr
The Wheel of Choice
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Who doesn’t need another tool in their arsenal of anti-tantrum strategies?
I recently came across the idea of the Wheel of Choice. It comes from the positive discipline model of parenting, and helps kids learn that they have power to make a conscious decision when they’re feeling overwhelmed, angry, or frustrated. When kids aren’t taught strategies for coping with these intense emotions, the default behaviours can be undesirable: hitting, screaming, yelling, tantrums, or fighting.
Creating and using a Wheel of Choice gives young kids strategies for problem solving that they may not otherwise have.
I’m excited to try this with Sammy who’s now 5.5 years old. While he’s come a long way in figuring out how to handle his emotions, I don’t think it will hurt to offer him new strategies for dealing with his disappointments, frustrations, and hurts, all of which he feels intensely.
Wheel of Choice Examples
Choices You Can Include on the Wheel
Pretty much anything you can think of that would help channel intense emotions in appropriate ways could be on the wheel. Some ideas could be:
- Walk away
- Have a drink of water
- Share a toy
- Cuddle
- Read a book
- Hitting your pillow
- Deep breathing (our kids like this one)
- Count to ten
- Go to a quiet place
- Listen to music
- Color a picture
- Use playdoh (tactile activities are great distractions for spirited kids)
- Take a bath
- Talk about your feelings (“I feel so sad that I can’t use that toy”)
For older kids, actual strategies for dealing with interpersonal conflict could also be included:
- Say sorry
- Ask if you can have a turn
- Choose a different toy
- Ask them to stop
- Express your feelings
- Draw your feelings
- Think of a new activity and move on
Other Types of Wheels
Perhaps outside of the realm of positive parenting, I thought this wheel of choice was pretty cool for toddlers and preschoolers.
Using the wheel in this way, you’re not addressing anger issues, but helping your toddler feel a sense of empowerment as they go about their daily routines.
You’ve probably already figured out that with spirited kids, transitions are a big deal. They need routine, structure and lots of advance warning when an activity is going to begin or end.
I can see this being a great way to avoid frustration or tantrums. We’ve done something similar with our kids, although not in the shape of a wheel:
(No comments on my drawing abilities)
These are all the activities that need to take place before our daughter walks out the door in the morning. She’s 8 years old, but you could easily tailor this to toddlers by including activities like brushing teeth, eating breakfast, getting dressed, etc.
By putting some power in their hands, you can hopefully avoid some tantrums, and at the same time, teach your toddler strategies for problem solving.
I’d love to know if I’ve inspirited you to try making your own wheel of choice. Tell me about it in the comments below!
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Apr
So you sleep-trained your baby and thought your sleep troubles were behind you. Then it happens – the dreaded nap battles.
Does one of these scenarios sound familiar?
Your child takes an hour to fall asleep.
Your child falls asleep easily but won’t nap in the afternoon.
Disorganized napping makes early evening an all out disaster.
Wouldn’t it be great if sleep issues were one and done?
Instead, your child’s brain and body are a virtual minefield of transitions and milestones just waiting to interfere with restful sleep.
Arm yourself with a little knowledge and you can head these changes off at the pass and enjoy smoother transitions.
6 Signs Your Baby is Ready For Just One Nap
- Your baby is between 15 and 18 months (this can vary, but is a good guideline)
- Your baby takes longer and longer to fall asleep for the morning nap
- Your baby takes a short morning nap, or such a long morning nap that an afternoon nap is out of the question
- Your baby sleeps uninterrupted for 11 hours at night
- You may feel the transition: two naps are too much while one nap is not enough
- You recognize a pattern developing, rather than the occasional occurrence
Keep in mind that a two to three week adjustment period might be necessary, even when things go smoothly. During this adjustment, baby may be cranky and need a slightly earlier bedtime. There will likely be days when baby still needs two naps and others where you can get by with just one.
Remember These 3 Crucial Points
Avoid making the switch too soon simply because your baby refused a nap once or twice. Don’t mistake normal age and milestone-related nap disturbances as a sign that baby is ready to drop a nap.
The afternoon nap is the one you will keep, so don’t allow baby to develop a habit of taking a long morning nap and then fighting a second one. Control the length of the morning nap to ensure your baby can go down again in the afternoon.
Ensure your baby is sleeping well through the night to avoid overtiring your child.
When You Are Ready to Make the Transition
Start by gradually pushing the morning nap later in 20-30 minute increments every few days. For example, 11:00 for a few days, then 11:30 for a few and so on until your baby has adjusted enough to make it to a midday nap (12:30 or 1:00) without growing overtired and fighting sleep.
Move bedtime earlier for a few weeks.
Be open to an occasional two nap “catch-up” day.
If your baby takes a short nap (common during this transition) try to resettle him or allow him time to resettle himself as this will be his only nap of the day.
Finally, take solace in the fact that this too shall pass. Once this transition is complete, your own schedule will become much more manageable. One daily nap makes planning and fun much easier. Congratulate yourself – you are well on your way!
Erica Desper is a postpartum doula and sleep consultant in the Philadelphia area. For over ten years she has been supporting families through the choices and challenges that come with parenting.
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Apr
I saw this meme a few months ago. It shows the difference between what the outside world thinks a stay at home mom does, and then shows what it’s really like.
I admit that, until I had kids of my own, I wondered what in the world parents did all day at home with their kids. I thought it was a sweet privilege that people could have the kind of money to make it possible for them to sit at home and do nothing all day.
That meme pretty much summed up exactly what I thought: being home is an extended vacation.
Except, not.
Turns out this was another on the long list of pre-parenthood thoughts and assumptions that were more a reflection of my ignorance than any reality.
The joke is, a parent who stays at home with their children full time is not just a parent.
A Stay At Home Parent is also;
-A teacher
-A principal
-A cook
-A clown
-A housekeeper
-A psychologist
-A tour guide
-A mediator
-A lawyer
-A judge
-A nurse
-A cruise director
And umpteen other roles my mind can’t even articulate into a word that fully encompasses the job requirements.
I have now done two maternity leaves, and in between the two, I was a mom who worked outside the home. Juggling shift work and a family was hard. Being effective at work on limited sleep and a whole lot of energy expense when I got home, was hard. Still having my synapses fire and be able to speak in adult speak after coming home and talking 3 octaves higher and in mostly single syllables was a challenge.
But none of that holds a candle to how much harder it is to be a stay at home mom.
As someone who has seen both sides, and admittedly on a limited basis (I had to keep my older child in daycare to both maintain her spot and guarantee my son’s), I can say that being a stay at home mom is, by far, the most under-appreciated job on the planet.
It’s so under-appreciated that it is most commonly referred to as ‘deciding not to go back to work,’ as if the fact it’s not paid and doesn’t involve putting on dress pants some how makes it ‘not work.’
If I mess up at at the office, my boss gets mad.
If I mess up at home, I screw up my child!
My boss, when I’m at home, doesn’t give me coffee breaks.
He doesn’t respect business calls.
He doesn’t guarantee me, offer me, or even allow me vacation days.
And sick days? Ha!
He doesn’t care how badly I need to go to the bathroom.
If he’s in a mood, that’s going to be my problem.
If I’m in a mood, that’s also going to be my problem.
My boss is a micromanager. Every second of his day better be planned to a T. He needs to be in charge, and he needs my constant attention.
My boss is unpredictable. His mood can go from good to raging mad at the drop of a hat. And he has no higher authority I can complain to when I’m harassed by him.
My boss under-pays me, under-appreciates me, physically and verbally assaults me, throws the meals I prepare for him at my face and on the floor if he disapproves and my scheduled breaks (read: his naps) are at his discretion in both length and frequency and over all consistency.
The biggest difference between the boss at home and the boss at the office is that I love my boss at home with every ounce of my being. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to make him happy. Nothing that can be happening, no day that can be full of stress, that his ear to ear 6-tooth smile won’t make disappear, even for just a minute.
He is my everything.
And maybe that’s why I can say that I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom. And that that’s okay.
Because I acknowledge that it’s the hardest job on the planet.
I’m not cut out to be a doctor either. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to tend to my kid’s cuts and bruises and bumps. But for the big stuff, the stuff that I’m not qualified for? That stuff I’ll defer to the professionals. When something is beyond my scope and capabilities, like a serious cut, I wouldn’t feel guilty saying ‘that cut needs stitches and I don’t know how to do them.’
So I won’t feel shame in saying that I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom.
That doesn’t mean I love my children any less than parents who do choose to stay at home. It means I love them enough to know that it is not in their interests or mine for me to stay home.
And I also now acknowledge, from meeting lots of amazing moms across this country, staying home wasn’t necessarily made possible because of one spouse’s massive salary.
Some people make sacrifices, huge sacrifices, to stay at home with their kids. Because it’s where their passions are, and what they want to do. Just like other people do to take jobs in other fields that aren’t highly paid because they love the work.
Anyone who thinks being a stay at home mom isn’t work hasn’t done it for even a day.
I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for stay at home moms, not just because of how hard their job is, but because they do it in spite of knowing that most people don’t consider it a job at all.
I guess that’s what you do when you’re passionate about something. You do it in spite of what others think.
And I guess that’s also why it’s okay for me to say it’s not my passion. That it’s too hard for me, and not something I’m very good at.
And that doesn’t make me a bad parent. It just makes me a not-so-great stay at home mom.
And that’s okay.
Leslie lives in Toronto with her husband, her 3 year old daughter and 1 year old son. She is presently on maternity leave and enjoying the hectic and harried life with two young children.
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Apr
Home Remedies for Colic
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If you’ve read my blogs on this site before, you know I’m a little on the crunchy side. I’m also a 4-Star Fussy Baby Veteran with Purple Tear award.
Really, don’t you wish there were such an award? We certainly deserve them as fussy baby survivors. Now I’m venturing in to irrational toddler territory. Yikes. Not a pro on that topic.
But on natural baby soothing methods and products, where do I begin???
Baby-wearing
The Moby Wrap
Didymos- The Baby Sling
Ergo Organic Carrier
Check out http://www.thebabywearer.com/index.php for a great network of baby-wearing experts and parents who wear their babies. Baby-wearing is a wonderful way to snuggle your baby while also providing that often necessary motion sensation that so many babies find soothing.
Wearing your baby is the easiest way to simulate the womb by providing warmth, a tight snug sensation, motion and, well, you of course!
Garments and bedding
Choosing a pesticide-free and natural fabric can be a great investment for your baby. For a sensitive infant, wearing and lying on artificial or treated fabrics can be very irritating.
Look for organic cotton, bamboo and hemp. Wool is also great, but some babies have allergies to it, so use with caution at first. I would suggest switching bedding and pajamas to organic before wool. Babies spend so much time in their sleeping environment that this is where it really counts.
Under the Nile is a great place to find soft, organic infant wear, bedding and toys.
Lullabye Organics offers a huge selection of organic bedding options for you and your baby. Having organic sheets and a good mattress for yourself is extremely important if you bed-share.
You can find Naturepedic mattresses here!
Naturpedic
Consider investing in an organic, non-toxic mattress like the Naturepedic. They make every size imaginable and are GreenGuard Certified, meaning they emit little to no fumes.
For more information on this topic please check out this link because I could easily write an entire blog on this topic alone!
Swaddling blankets
Aden and Anais Organic Muslin Collection
Winner of the Cribsie Award, among others, this swaddle is lightweight, comes in many designs and boasts being most comfortable for baby’s skin. A light swaddle is very nice because overheating, as we all know, can make a baby pretty darn frustrated!
Summer Infant (formerly Kiddopotamus) SwaddleMe in organic cotton
This swaddle is made from lightweight 100% certified organic cotton. It makes swaddling a synch if you need a little help and is the answer if you happen to have a swaddle escape artist. There is also a slit in the SwaddleMe to allow for car seat and swing buckling. Can you say AWESOME?
In addition, Dr. Harvey Karp, writer of Happiest Baby on the Block, recommends this blanket as an alternative to the “DuDu wrap” technique that his program teaches.
Homeopathic remedies
Though I have not tried these on my son personally, I did read rave reviews about them on Amazon. I like this homeopathic brand for my son’s teething issues and their migraine tablets are like the only thing that works for me, so I feel comfortable putting these on this list.
I think as a parent of a sensitive child, it is best to go natural wherever possible and this includes pain relief. Giving round the clock doses of Tylenol or ibuprofen, quite honestly, in my opinion, is dangerous for a little baby.
This herbal pouch, containing lavender, chamomile, lemon grass, peppermint, spearmint, wheat and flax seed, is specially formulated for distressed baby tummies. The pouch is tucked inside of a washable belt that fastens securely around the belly.
It comes in three colors and replacement herbal pouches can be purchased on their site. Happi Tummi has won a handful of awards already including the Preemie Magazine Cool Stuff Award!
Gripe Water is also an age-old favorite for tummy pains but it will might not help if your baby is high-needs for reasons other than colic.
Why choose natural?
As more and more chemicals come into our world, there are more and more potential hazards to our health, as well as the health of our little ones. Some known irritants we may have around the home that could be contributing to infant distress are synthetic fragrances (i.e. any perfume, body splash, cologne, deodorant and room deodorizers, which are the biggest offenders).
Also watch ingredients of personal care products for both you and baby. Fragrances are not regulated and can contain many toxic ingredients like phthalates, which can disrupt hormones. They are often eye, lung and skin irritants as well, especially for babies.
My suggestion is to check out what is in your favorite fragrance, lotion or hairspray by going to Skin Deep Cosmetic Database.
Not only do I check on products I already have, but also I often use this site to find hazard-free products by looking for lipsticks or diaper cream as a general term and seeing which products rank lowest in toxicity concern.
I can’t say enough great things about this brilliant resource and hope that soon every parent knows about it.
If you are a frequent visitor to The Fussy Baby Site, your baby is either sensitive, colicky or cries a lot for other reasons. Surrounding baby in natural fabrics, using organic diaper cream and avoiding harsh chemicals, is a good idea for any baby, but especially a baby who is already under a lot of stress.
Amanda is the owner of Ready or Not – A Baby Planning Service. She is in love with her toddler and her husband and derives much of her writing inspiration from her family experiences. To learn more about Amanda and what she does to help pregnant and new parents, please check out her website at www.readyornotbabyplanning.com
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Apr
The Miracle Baby Sleep System
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I recently came across the Miracle Baby Sleep System by a company called SmartWav.
I have to admit, my first reaction was scepticism…mainly due to the ‘miracle’ in the name. I gave up long ago on finding a miracle cure for colic, fussiness, and sleeplessness.
However I’ve been testing this system recently, and must say that I’m intrigued. I assumed it was just another white noise CD, however after receiving the system in the mail, reading through their literature, and trying it out myself, I discovered this is a highly credible product. And NOT just white noise.
The Miracle Baby Sleep System, newly released in 2011, is actually a highly accurate reproduction of the sound of the womb. As we know, especially with fussy and colicky babies, the transition from womb to world can be a difficult one. All the products and techniques we use to calm our fussy babies centre on helping to recreate the experience of the womb: Swaddling, bouncing, movement, and of course, white noise.
This is NOT a gimmick. That is often my first thought when I discover a new product that makes these kinds of claims. However this system has won all sorts of extremely reputable awards and accolades:
- The iParent Media Award
- The iParent Media HOT Award
- Deemed a ‘Top Pick’ by Parenting Magazine
- CD of the year by Creative Child Magazine
- Deemed “Astounding”, James Cameron of Titanic
- Seal of Approval from The National Parenting Center
What Is the Baby Sleep System Exactly?
I was confused about this at first.
Is it a white noise CD? Is it a recording of the womb? Is it a compilation of lullabies?
The Miracle Baby Sleep System features Womb Effect technology which is a reproduction of the sounds of the womb, underwater. This is what your baby would have heard while in utero.
This is NOT white noise. It is a low frequency rumble sound, just like your baby heard in the womb. Their website describes the difference between white noise and the sounds used in this system:
“Static White Noise does not exist in nature. It is – by definition – NOISE. In fact, it is EVERY sound frequency combined together at the same time. If you turn it up loud enough, it sounds like a jet engine. Calming? Organic? Peaceful? Hardly. At best, it can do a good job of masking other extraneous sounds.
Perhaps more interesting is a relatively unknown fact that sound UNDERWATER (i.e., what your baby experienced in the womb) is almost ALL Low-Frequency rumble sounds. White Noise, by contrast, is loudest at the higher frequencies – completely NOT womb-like!’
Testimonials
When I buy a product, especially online, I HAVE to have positive testimonials. I have to say, I’m impressed with the testimonials on this one! These testimonials are not just from random anonymous people, but from physicians, NICU nurses, and celebrities willing to put their name and reputation behind the product:
We began using the BabySleep System audio track with one of our chronic NICU patients. To my great surprise,the infant began to sleep so much better and began to focus and concentrate during play. It seemed that since we began using the music, it unleashed his creativity.”
- Theresa Frasier BSN, RN – OU Medical Center NICU
“It’s astounding how our new baby calms, falls asleep, and stays asleep.”
- James Cameron & Suzy Amis
“The first night we used the CD! (still in our room), not only did our new daughter sleep through the night but I got the best night sleep since she was born! Thank you so much for putting out such a great product.”
- Kevin Russell, Graphic Designer for Deepak Chopra and Vikki Abrams
“For what it’s worth, I’m not a salesman – just a desperate parent! I had to go back to work this week, and last night I just started crying because the situation was untenable – for all of us. This morning, I bought womb sounds and music from the Baby Sleep System and put it on right by her crib and put her down. Of course, she started crying. But I waited in the other room, determined to give it at least the five minutes.At minute four, it was totally quiet. Of course, I rushed in to make sure she was still breathing. She was! Fast asleep! This is a baby who would NEVER sleep without being swaddled and binkied, and who is a determined crier!”
- Jan S., Baby Center.com Forums
“My God, if you can, take stock in this company! Harlequin was crying and nothing was helping (food, burping, walking, diapers etc.) so we put in the Baby Sleep System CD, and – I’m not exaggerating – within 10 seconds she was completely calm and falling asleep. It was absolutely astounding”.
- Michelle M., Editor of EContent & Intranets Online
The Technology Behind the Baby Sleep System
What You Get When Your Order the System
When I received the system in the mail, I found not one but FOUR CD’s included. I was again, a bit confused (I guess I get easily confused 
).
Turns out, this is why it’s called a system and not just a CD. Here is what the system consists of:
Research on the Miracle Baby Sleep System
This was one of the clinchers for me. There is actual, clinical research about to be done on this system.
Early observations from 3 US hospitals have shown:
- Deeper and more prolonged sleep in infants
- Accelerated growth and development in preemies
- Improved brain function in brain damaged infants.
Cost of the System
When I thought this was just another white noise CD, honestly, I thought the price was too high. $59.97 for a white noise CD when you can download them online for $2.99 obviously seemed steep.
However after learning about the technology involved in this system, the research being done into it, the success stories from parents and professionals, and the fact that this technology isn’t available in any other product or system, the price seems very reasonable to me.
Final Thoughts About the Miracle Baby Sleep System
As I mentioned before, I am always sceptical about new products claiming to be help with sleeplessness. I myself tried so many products when Sammy was a baby, and so many were quite frankly, duds!
However after spending a significant amount of time reviewing this product, the technology behind it, the testimonials from parents, physicians and NICU nurses, and the fact that clinical trials will be starting soon for this product, I have to say that if I were to have another baby I would definitely try this product.
Buy the Miracle Baby Sleep System Now
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Mar
Help! My Toddler is a Fussy Eater
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Turns out, fussy babies often become fussy toddlers. And one component of this fussiness is picky eating (anyone surprised? Didn’t think so).
Both my kids were fussy eaters as toddlers. I wish I had understood then what I know now: They didn’t die of picky eating, they didn’t experience failure to thrive, and they’re turning out to be relatively decent eaters (relatively being the operative word).
Sammy is still a fussy eater. I’ve pretty much given up making him eat potatoes because the past 3 times we’ve insisted he eat them, he THREW THEM UP. I’m all for being firm and everything, but I’m letting go of enforcing the whole ‘you have to eat at least 1 bite of everything‘ rule. At least when it comes to potatoes.
Anyways, below are some tips I’ve gleaned from healthcare professionals, friends, my own experience, Dr. Harvey Karp, and Dr. Jack Newman. I’d love to hear if you have any other tips, in the comments below!
Tips for Fussy Eaters
Present the food in an appealing way
I think sometimes we forget that toddlers are little people, with their own preferences, and their own sense of aesthetics (maybe not the same as ours, but still).
I know I’m guilty of this at times: I assume that because I like a certain food, I can throw it in front of them and expect them to be excited about it. Remember that they’re just learning about healthy eating habits, and are constantly experiencing new foods for the first time.
Impress them! Present the food on a fun, colourful plate. Use cookie cutters to cut out their bread, meat or cheese. Talk about why you love that food, why it’s good for our bodies, tell them about the first time you tried that food.
Offer a variety of foods in very small portions
A serving size for a toddler is remarkably small. For instance, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics, a serving size of vegetables for a toddler is 1-2 TBSP, one serving of grains is 1/4-1/2 piece of bread, and a serving of meat is only one ounce.
When you dish out your toddlers plate at a meal, put tiny amounts of each food on the plate. That way if they don’t like a particular food, they know it’s only 1 or 2 bites and it’s gone. If there’s something they love, they can always ask for more.
Limit the snacks and drinks
This is a big one we noticed with Sammy. He LOVES to drink milk and juice, and if we let him, he’d be drinking it all day. Problem is, when he drinks between meals, he’s not hungry for dinner. So in our house, if you’re thirsty between meals, you drink water.
Same goes for snacks. Try to institute regular snack times, rather than just a ‘give him a snack because he asked for one‘ policy. Be mindful of giving snacks too close to mealtime, *especially* when you know that what’s on the menu isn’t going to be a favourite.
When you have a toddler who’s a fussy eater, I know how tempting it can be to just dish out the snacks whenever the mood strikes him. But part of teaching healthy eating habits is learning that we eat at regular intervals.
[edited to add: What I'm referring to above are unhealthy snacks. Kids should have access to healthy snacks like fruits and veggies whenever they're feeling hungry].
Give foods different names
We found that by telling Sammy the clear liquid in his water bottle was ‘power juice’, he gulped it down. Cutting his whole grain toast into little strips and calling them ‘dragon fingers’ has made them a favourite.
I’m not saying lie to your kid and tell her it’s something other than what it is, but there’s nothing wrong with adding a little mystery, a little pizazz, or a clever little back story to a food.
A favourite in our house are ‘snack plates‘. You can serve pretty much anything on a snack plate, and the kids will eat it. Give them a sandwich with meat and cheese, they scoff. Give them 2 pieces of buttered bread cut up into little pieces, cubes of cheese, and ham cut out into the shape of a dinosaur, and they devour it.
Some food ideas for snack plates: Cut up apples or bananas, a small bowl of yogurt (put on the plate. It IS a snack plate, after all), cheese, crackers, whole grain toast or bread, rolled up deli ham or turkey, carrot or cucumber sticks with dip, pepperoni sticks, cheese strings, leftover meat cut up into cubes, apple sauce. And always on a snack plate, one small treat like a cookie or a candy, which can be eaten at any time, even before the healthy stuff. I’ve noticed my kids sometimes even save their treat for the end. LOVE that they’re learning delayed gratification at such a young age!
Avoid sugary cereals and other high-carb snacks
Not that these are always bad, but they may be filling up your toddler’s tummy to the point that she just doesn’t want that apple you’ve cut up for her. High carbohydrate snacks like cheerios, crackers, and teething biscuits may be very palatable to your little one, but they may also leave her wanting more of the same. Then when you offer that avocado, what do you think she’s going to choose?
You can’t force a kid to eat
Your power as a parent only goes so far. Yes, you can model healthy eating. Yes, you can offer her nutritious foods. Yes, you can set and enforce guidelines.
What you can’t do is make them eat. If a toddler doesn’t want to eat something, they won’t. Simple as that. If you they want to, they’ll throw it up. What you can do is say, ‘If you really don’t want to eat those peas, that’s OK. We don’t have cookies until all our healthy food is gone, but if you’d rather not eat the peas, that’s your decision.’
Choose your battles wisely
Keep things in perspective. Yes, it’s important to teach good table manners and healthy eating habits. Yes, it’s important for kids to try new foods, and to develop an appreciation for nutritious foods.
But is Thanksgiving dinner with 20 relatives sitting around the table the time to teach these lessons? Or after you’ve had a really long, hard day at work?
Go easy on yourself. Go easy on your toddler.
The best advice I ever got was from a public health nurse when my daughter was about 13 months old. Aliya hadn’t been eating much of anything, and I was worried she would waste away, or learn bad eating habits, or worse yet – wake up in the night hungry.
She told me this:
“It’s YOUR job to present the food in an appealing way. It’s THEIR job to eat it.”
I think this is great advice to take to heart. We can do our best, but ultimately it’s up to our child.
Do you have any tips you use to get your fussy toddler to eat? Share them with us below!
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