My daughter is now 7 months old, born after years of infertility. She was conceived through IVF after several attempts with all kinds of methods. In October of last year my cervix had opened prematurely and she was days away from being born. Being that I was only 5 months pregnant, they told me they could not do anything for her.
I was determined to make sure that she was came safely into this world, because we had worked so hard for her I believed that if we lost her and tried again, it would still not be her…I wanted her. So, we got some help and I stayed on bedrest the whole time until she was born.
From day one (after being in labor for 2 days) I could tell she was…’strong minded’. I thought once we got her out of the hospital she would change. Not so. I also had postpartum depression for about 6 months, which didn’t help. Nothing pleased her, and I just thought I had a colicky baby.
But from what I read that was only supposed to be at night for a length of time, but she cried all day and did not want to go anywhere. I was dying to get out of the house so we just did little things instead of big trips. She still hates going places and you never know when she’s going to start acting up.
I get mad at myself for being frustrated with her because we have waited so long for her. I’m still trying to learn that I am only human. As I’m sure every parent thinks, I believe she is intelligent. When I try to scold her she laughs at me, probably thinking, “I’ve got this women wrapped around my finger!”.
She is in a stage now where she doesn’t want her father. All she wants is me. I am working nights from 9pm until 6 am so I don’t have to put her in daycare, and to top it all off I watch my 8 week old nephew who is also high maintenance. I think my daughter even gets jealous of him!. In fact just yesterday when they were both crying, I sat and cried myself as I’m sure many of you have done.
I’m trying to learn to take it day by day but all the days seem to run together. As I have read, maybe things will change at 9 months (I count down the hours!). I’m hoping that’s true.