Linda Budd
Linda Budd is a practicing Psychologist and author of the book, The Active Alert Child. A Fussy Baby Site reader recommended the book to me, and told me how helpful the book was for her.
I am hesitant to even mention the book on this site. Not because it is not a well-researched, well-written and informative book - because it is. I am hesitant because you have come to this site for information about your baby or toddler. And particularly with an infant, it is simply too early to give a name or a label to his or her behaviour.
Even Dr. Budd does not use the term 'active alert' with infants. In our interview she said,
I didn’t start using the word in newborns, partly because I wanted to see how they went through the 2’s. I usually start using the term somewhere in the 3’s. I would look at a baby and say, ‘how are we responding to the needs?’…I don’t have investment in labels. That’s actually why I made that label so positive. I don’t want to use words too soon about a baby other than, ‘Gee, they’re really telling us their needs, and how can we meet those needs?’
Despite this, the Active Alert Child gives a fresh and encouraging perspective on how to cope with an active infant. Your baby may indeed continue to exhibit the characteristics of 'active alert' as he gets older. He may also outgrow those characteristics. Regardless, you are sure to find information in the book that is highly applicable to your 'fussy baby'.
Your can read more about The Active Alert Child here.
Interview with Dr. Linda Budd, May 2009
In your book, you talk about the physiological causes of active behaviour, like allergies and ear infections. Is this something you see in infants as well?
Yes, but we’re not usually testing infants. There are multiple origins; those aren’t the only two. One of the main causes that I look for is gastrointestinal reflux, because I have found that often those two things are highly correlated. It doesn’t explain all fussy babies, but it does explain a good percentage…I find that GERD often coexists with a history of food irritabilities.
There’s also the ‘active’ part. The nervous systems are not as well developed in these children. With an active alert child, what I lovingly tell parents is it’s like they’re born without the myelin coating on the nerves. Sometimes it won’t be GERD, but it will be an overreaction to their environment. They overreact to sounds. They need a very quiet, slow, very subtle beginning to life, and you’ll find that the fussiness goes away.
When you read about things like putting fussy babies on the dryer, it’s about stimulating their rhythms and sounds so that they can comfort themselves. For an active, kinaesthetic child, the dryer puts the kinaesthetic piece in, it puts the auditory piece in, and you get them going all at once to soothe the baby.
Some ‘spirited’ babies seem to become overstimulated in loud, busy environments while others seem to thrive when they are around a lot of people and noise. Why is it that some babies seem to be soothed by activity while others are overwhelmed by it?
The question is, ‘which one were you born with?’. It’s baby whispering, figuring out what the child is telling you. Every child is unique, and is so their own person. It’s being in tune with your baby and trying to figure her out without taking on the guilt and the shame of [thoughts like] ‘they’re continuing to cry and I must be doing it wrong. If I only I could do it right’.
You do have to keep in mind that there are physiological components. It’s not a simple phenomena. If you make it too simple, you’re going to feel like a complete failure. A lot of parents come into my office and say ‘it didn’t work for me’. It just means that it’s more complex than you’re thinking.
What are the characteristics of active alert in newborns? Or is infancy too early to use that term?
They’re busy. Even in utero, they’re busy. We’re aware of their movement. I didn’t start using the word in newborns, partly because I wanted to see how they went through the 2’s. I usually start using the term somewhere in the 3’s. I would look at a baby and say, ‘how are we responding to the needs?’…
I don’t have investment in labels. That’s actually why I made that label so positive. I don’t want to use words too soon about a baby other than, ‘Gee, they’re really telling us their needs, and how can we meet those needs?’. I like Brazelton’s term the ‘active infant’….because you can see they’re active. They want to move. As infants, you can look at them lying there, and it’s almost as if you can see the frustration, because they’re so kinaesthetic. They’re going to move earlier, they’re going to develop those skills earlier.
I can give you those characteristics, but I still wouldn’t use those words. I’d say, ‘Oh look, she’s ahead of the game. She’s already walking at 9 months’. I hesitate to use anything but the child’s name, because I want to honor these children to grow.
I have heard from parents who say that as soon as their son or daughter became mobile, they started fussing and crying less. Is this something you hear from parents as well?
If there’s one thing parents tell me, that’s it. When they can move, they may not be easy children, but they’re easier, and it’s noticeable. Sometimes I hear from parents who say their 2.5 year old has never slept through the night. The parents have them in contained cribs, and I say, ‘Put the mattress on the floor so the child can get out and move’. We go through how you keep it quiet and you don’t interact with them, and when they come toddling out of the room you take them back to their room. And it’s like that solves the problem. That freedom, that ability to move, and it was just as simple as that…you’re addressing that control issue and that ability to move, and then they go to sleep and they sleep through the night! I’ve seen this happen so many times that I don’t doubt it any more.
They’re really in charge of themselves. They are little people, and they have come to this earth, and they’re in charge of themselves. Their biggest problem is learning over time what they can and cannot have charge of, without stifling their ability and their joy at being in charge of themselves.
Often parents will say their ‘spirited’ toddler will have tantrums that go on and on. These are not the kind of tantrums where you can just ignore them and they’ll go away. How do you recommend dealing with these?
What I do is back away. The hardest thing for these children is to figure out that they are the only ones who can calm themselves. That is a skill they are not born with. They do not have self-calming and self-soothing devices. One of the things I do is very quietly hand them self-soothing things - which they’re going to throw in the middle of a fit, I’m going to be real honest with you. But I’m going to step away and say, ‘You can handle this.’ It may last an hour. But then it will last less time. Because what they hear in my voice and in the way I respond to them is ‘I believe in you. This is just anger. You can handle this. When you’re done, we can talk about it.’
These kids have volcanoes inside them. They have an issue with self discipline, which all children do. They really don’t know how to self regulate, because they really weren’t born with these self-soothing, self-calming mechanisms. It’s important that they learn skills around that. I want them to name the feeling and know that I believe in them, and that they can handle it. What I don’t want to do is feel sorry for them and think it’s my job to soothe them. I do not think it does children any good when we feel sorry for them. In the long term, they have to learn that these [feelings] are theirs, and yes they’re big…but they don’t have to feel this way. They’re feeling these things because even at 2, they’re saying things inside their heads that aren’t true like, “You’re supposed to make me happy’. So I want to state things back very calmly, not in a mean way. ‘This is a thing you’re learning. Just like going to the bathroom, just like learning to ride a bike. You’re going to learn how to handle your feelings.’ I’m always saying where I want them to go.
One thing that’s really hard for parents is trying to deal with a 'spirited' child as well as their other children. What advice do you have for parents with more than one child?
That’s an interesting dynamic. Because you get into [the other child] parenting your [spirited child], and him affecting her, and then how do you disengage her away from the child who is now in ‘the volcano’?
You’ve got to get a sitter in there. You’ve got to get this child with other people, so that older child knows that their quietness, and their strength, is also valued, and they get attention for that. They get separate alone time. I cannot say that strongly enough. In some ways, it’s easier if you get this child as your first child, because you don’t know what to expect. It’s harder psychologically to have this child as the second, third, or fourth child….it is so much harder with this interactional dynamic between the other children and this child. It’s like the pressure is there to get hold of these things quicker then had this been the oldest child.
It’s really, really important that we not compare children. It’s a disaster for both children. Your oldest does not need to be the perfect child. That’s really unhealthy for her. She needs to know she can have her feelings, and throw a fit, and mom’s strong enough for both kids.
