Teething With a High Need Baby

[DolphineGirl]

Well Hello Everyone! I have been away from this board for about a month because I thought that I did not belong here anymore. My baby was colicky, fussy, high need you name it, from practically day 5 and then when he turned 3 months old everything changed. At least this is what I thought. He started taking long naps during the day, everything became more predictable, I was able to do things around the house as well as I was able to get some time for myself. Somehow I learned to enjoy motherhood, and I knew how it felt like having an easy baby. He turned 4 months old, and everything changed again. No, it is not colic this time, but he definitely became very fussy again. Sometimes I get to a point when I do not think I can take it any longer. I do not have help (only DH, fussy baby and me, no family closeby and no friends I could count on), so I am trying to cope with it on a daily basis, practically on my own. DH works and when he comes home he is more than willing to help me out and cope with the little fussy one. Honestly I have no idea what came over him when he turned 4 months old. The long naps disappeared and all those smiles and giggles turned into tears again. Is it teething? He is drooling like crazy, puts everything in his mouth. Any advise what I should do? I am at my wits' end, right now he is fussying like crazy in his crib, but he would do the same even if I held him. He seems to be very Unhappy most of the time, and I have no idea what I should do in order to please him. So far I have refused to try the CIO method, but honestly I am not so sure about that anymore. I feel terrible, I feel guilty because I am angry with him, and I just want to run out the house! I cannot bear his screaming, which he does not matter what I do to him. I am in tears, because I need to release the tension, too. After all I cannot yell at a 4 month old, right? Thanks for listening.

[Hollyadmin]

Wow, what a disappointment to think you're in the clear and then be back to square one!!! First off, have you had him seen by your doctor? Sudden fussiness always concerns me a bit, especially after a long time of being 'normal'.

That said, something I've seen in lots or high need babies is the back and forth...you think you've turned a corner, only to discover weeks later that your baby is still extra sensitive, needs lots of extra work, and their sleep has gone out the window. This happened many, many times with Sammy. It was SO frustrating. We'd get into a great routine, he'd be so much easier, sleep better, and then BOOM!  Teething, moving, vacations, you name it, back to square one.

I would HIGHLY encourage you to do some type of sleep training. Not necessarily CIO (although you may want to consider it), but something.  I'd recommend 'Sleeping Through the Night' by Jodi Mindell, or The No Cry Sleep Solution. Sometimes something like teething will set them off, and they won't sleep as well, and then they get into this pattern of non-sleep, which makes them fussier and makes it harder for them to sleep, and on and on. It's a nasty cycle. So, I would say work on getting the sleep under control, and then see how his fussiness is...

I'm so sorry you have to be back here

[fbsurvivor]

I agree with Holly that it is alarming that you're back to the fussiness.  But it does sound familiar.  For me we went from high needs straight to teething. I always felt like my dd was in pain from the gas of colic, almost more sensitive to pain than other babies.  So I wasn't surprised that the teething was terrible.  Hyland's teething tablets helped and distraction during the day.  The saliva from the drooling can also get in their stomachs and cause more stomach upset.

[sombrabella]

I am going thru the same thing with my 5 1/2 month old son. He is teething and, like any good high-needs baby, he's taking it hard! Some days are good-I can carry him in the sling and he's happy for most of the day to just watch what I'm doing. If he fusses I'll nurse him or let him chew on a wet cold rag. (He hates plastic teething rings) Other days, like today, he pushes me to the edge! He's my 'you-can't-do-anything-to-make-me-happy' baby. Nothing soothes him and I just want to throw him out the window! I feel so emotionally drained. And it seems like my husband always has something he has to do after work on his fussy days! Argghhh! I get so little time to myself when I need it most.

I share your feelings of guilt. I feel like a big failure sometimes. Even though I know it's not my fault that DS is this way, and it's not his fault either, it's still frustrating. I think, 'how much longer can I do this?' I actually feel jealous of my husband for getting to go to work some days. And then I feel guilty for that because I know it's a real priviledge to be able to stay home with him. But it is so easy to get burnt out. Especialy for those of us with no nearby family to help.  It's easy to feel lonely and isolated. On these days, as much as I may not feel like it, I try really hard to reach out to others. I may feel bad cause I think they might judge my parenting or my unclean house, but I try not to let that stop me.


Take care and know that we're puilling for you!

[smith125]

hello guys,,,
I think all of the reading and comparisons I have been doing is starting to play tricks on me and I am feeling like a complete failure.
I am so frustrated because I am following my heart and doing all I can to meet the needs of my LO and it is strictly seen as ruining/spoiling him.