Fussy Toddler

[isk8jewel]

This is the first time I've posted on this board so I wasn't sure exactly which category to put this under.

My high needs/fussy baby has turned into a fussy toddler.  He's recently been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), which is no surprise, and we're waiting (not so patiently) for an OT to pick up our case.  In the meantime, I'm going crazy.  I love my son, I do but we battle DAILY with things as simple as changing a diaper.  And I mean BATTLE... kicking, hitting, screaming.  Many days it drives me to tears. The SPD makes complete sense to me, I understand it and why/how it affects him, but what I don't get is how to survive it. So what I'm wondering is if anyone has any resources, suggestions or experience as far as how to help ME, the parent, get through the days without a meltdown of my own.  I'm a SAHM and I love my son more than anything but being the sole caregiver most of the week is starting to take it's toll.  I assume there MUST be tips and tricks for us as parents.  Right?

[Hollyadmin]

OK, I'm going to wrack my brain and try to remember what we did!

Transitions were (and still are) the hardest thing for Sammy. Thankfully he's out of diapers, so I don't have to fight with him about that anymore. But getting him dressed, getting him out the door, going places - it's often a struggle.

Diaper changes - I resorted to giving him 'forbidden' things while changing him. I had tried giving him toys and stuff, but that wasn't motivation enough for him to lie still. I resorted to my cell phone, jewellery, etc. that I would normally never let him play with. Not sure if that was the best thing, but you do what you have to do!  I also got very good at doing standing-up diaper changes. I would try to catch him being distracted by something (like cartoons), sneak up, and change his diaper standing up.

I had many days when I cried too, especially between the ages of 2-3. Sammy would also hit, scream, claw at me, scratch me, etc. I tried not to take it personally - I recognized that he was extremely frustrated, not that he was trying to make me mad. But it was HARD. There were lots of times when he absolutely refused to get dressed, but on boots, get into his carseat, etc., and sometimes I had to force him (pin him down) b/c I also have an older daughter, and I couldn't just let him dictate our schedule.

I will keep thinking of ways I got through it and get back to you. Sometimes I'm amazed I DID get through it!!

[fbsurvivor]

I haven't dealt w/ sensory processing disorder, but in my case I found out that my daughter was no longer throwing fits for diaper changes @ daycare and then I asked that she help me like @ daycare and she has.  I've never been able to get the toy thing to work although others have.  Have you tried baby yoga or massage?  I just wonder if with the processing disorder the environment has to be very calm and unstimulating.  That might help you as well.

[sunshinebaby]

I have a good friend with a son my daughter's age (almost 3) with SPD.  She has often had me wondering if my daughter has some milder version.  I can tell you that OT will make a HUGE difference.  Check out books like "The Highly Sensitive Child". My friend's son reacted really well to a weighted vest (somehow that pressure evens things out for him).  She said that sometimes even a really tight hug across most of his body will calm him down.  I am SO sorry you are dealing with this.  I hope at OT picks you up very soon.  In the meantime maybe there are more resources online.

This is the first time I've posted on this board so I wasn't sure exactly which category to put this under.

My high needs/fussy baby has turned into a fussy toddler.  He's recently been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), which is no surprise, and we're waiting (not so patiently) for an OT to pick up our case.  In the meantime, I'm going crazy.  I love my son, I do but we battle DAILY with things as simple as changing a diaper.  And I mean BATTLE... kicking, hitting, screaming.  Many days it drives me to tears. The SPD makes complete sense to me, I understand it and why/how it affects him, but what I don't get is how to survive it. So what I'm wondering is if anyone has any resources, suggestions or experience as far as how to help ME, the parent, get through the days without a meltdown of my own.  I'm a SAHM and I love my son more than anything but being the sole caregiver most of the week is starting to take it's toll.  I assume there MUST be tips and tricks for us as parents.  Right?

[sunshinebaby]

I asked the friend on my '07 birth board about her son with SPD.  This was her response.

Oh that is so hard for her!!! The weighted vest is good!! Also, offer her the suggestion of doing compression therapy when her son is losing it after not processing a new sensation. This is where she holds the child in her lap as tight as she can with out hurting him, while speaking soothingly and stroking hair etc. She can also wrap the child up in a blanket (head and feet out either end) nice and tight (pretend it is a game and call him a caterpillar etc) and give him a BIG squeezy hug at times where there are no meltdowns going on.
Is his SPD related to certain things? IE messy hands, fussy with water, stranger anxiety? Can she recognize his triggers? To be able to offer more support I would need to know more specifically what kinds of things he avoids/seeks with the SPD.
Please pass on our support, we understand!

You are not alone!  Her son has come really far, so be encouraged!  I am waiting to hear back from another friend if she has any other advice to offer.  If you want me to share anything with them or have questions, please let me know and I will relay them.