Feeling Disappointed

[donnag]

Just needed to come on her and share my day as it's not been the best. I am a mum to a high needs 6 months old girl.

We attempted to go to parent and baby class again today and ended up leaving early again! It's starting to get to me and then other mum's manage to go from there to meet up at the park! I feel like I just can't do this as it makes my daughter so fussy - she loves being out but when there are too many distractions she won't nap and sometimes won't eat so everthing just ends up going from bad to worse.

I am sooooooo fed up of not being able to participate in normal mum and baby activities - I am starting to feel like we are missing out, but I am soooooo fed up of trying to stop her fussying when we go to these things that I feel really torn. I want to go for the social aspect for both of us, but don't want to go as I always have the difficult baby and it just gets me down :-(

Just needed to come on her and get out how I am feeling as no one else I know with babies understands as they have lovely, easy babies - aren't they lucky!

[Hollyadmin]

We definitely understand!! In fact, I've been feeling a bit like this these days too.  I thought we were past this, but for whatever reason, Sammy has decided to fuss and cry about everything these days. I have been trying to stay home as much as possible because it's a fiasco every time we try to leave the house (doesn't want to put his shoes on, doesn't want to get in the van, etc.) Urg.

It's definitely an adjustment, both practically and emotionally, having a high need baby. I think there's almost a grieving process we have to go through - this is the baby we got, this is their personality, and it's not what we would have chosen.  It's hard. Yes, life would perhaps be easier if she was an 'easy' baby.

There are joys that you will experience however, that those mothers of 'easy' babies won't. On good days, you'll feel over the moon because you know what a really bad day is. Your daughter will light up a room with her laugh, and she will be SO much fun to have around. This is of course tempered by the crying and fussing. It is hard now, there's no doubt about it. But things WILL get easier, and you both WILL be OK.

Sorry, I don't know if this is helpful at all. Just off the top of my head

[donnag]

Thanks Holly - it helps to hear from anyone that understands

I also thought we were past it - the last 2 weeks have been much, much better, almost like a different baby. Think the next developemnt phase and 6 months growth spurt are happening and you know how these high needs babies copy with those.

But you are right - when she is happy and in a good mood she is soooooo sweet and I know it's just how she is and recently I have been coming to terms with the fact that she needs more attention etc. Just having a bad day today - she was also up twice in the night last night after sleeping through the last couple of weeks. I know that they say regression in the face of progression, but when you are tired and have a demanding baby and home alone for most of the day it can become too much.

I was also annoyed at a 'friend' that suggested she is fussy because I have spoilt her!!!!! I hate it when people say these things. The reason I give her soooo much attention is because it would be even worse if I didn't as I am sure you understand!

Thanks again

[annick.rauch]

Ohhh, I feel for you! I hate it when people try to tell you you've done something wrong... if they only knew what you and baby were going through and everything you've tried... they would never make those comments! My biggest realisation through all of this is that you have to do what works for you and baby AND you have to keep yourself sane... sometimes that means doing things that are "wrong" in the eyes of parents who have "easy" babies!

I hope that today will be a better day for you! 

[fbsurvivor]

No matter what anyone says only YOU know your baby.  It's not spoiling.  It's surviving.

[donnag]

Thanks for the respones and support - I am so glad I found this site, it's great to connect with other people that know what it is like!

[sombrabella]

Donna, you're NOT spoiling your daughter, don't believe that crap! You are doing exactly the right thing by responding to her and trying to meet her needs! Just hang in there! You're a great mom and your baby loves you!