Question about a newborn?

[ZAGMom]

So, it seems that I have found the right place to ask this question ...

My first born is one month old and she is incredibly particular about everything.  I obviously didn't know what to expect with a baby but it seems that she is not exactly like other people's babies.  I haven't had a shower in three days (this is a SHORT period of time) because she won't be still for that long in a seat of any kind without attempting to launch head first onto the floor.  When dad is home, she wants to nurse constantly.  If she goes to Dad, my general response is pass out for ten minutes on the bed on my back (because I can't sleep on my back at night because I always have to be touching her).  Nursing involves gymnastics with really sore nipples to show ... etc. etc.

I was wondering if anyone else has/had a lot of trouble with their newborn being way too strong for their own good?  She is constantly arching her back, she came out of the womb with an impressive ability to support her head and body,  she regularly hits her own nose on my collar bone while I try to get her into the sling and then cries about that ... my other friends keep saying how cuddly their children are and I just have no clue what they could be talking about.  Is this normal?  Should I be worried about her ability to constantly have tense muscles?  (even when she is sleeping)

Thanks!

[Hollyadmin]

Hi and welcome! Yes, you're at the right place

I'm not sure about the tense muscles...that's something I haven't heard in terms of high need or colicky babies. I have heard of back arching (my own son included), but not whole body tenseness. Have you checked it out with your dr?

The rest sounds familiar though. It's disappointing, but not all babies are cuddly. My daughter was NOT cuddly. All I wanted was to be able to hold her and cuddle on the couch, but she would have none of that. She wanted to sit on my lap, even as a newborn, or be held facing out. When she would get fussy, it was actually putting her down that helped...she loved to just lay on the floor.

I don't know if you'd feel comfortable doing this, but with both my kids, I put them in their bouncy seat on the bathroom floor, or in their crib, while I took a shower. I gave myself 15 minutes in there, and if they screamed, they screamed. At least they were safe. And I felt for my own sanity I needed that 15 minutes of peace, and to feel like I could tackle the rest of the day. DON'T feel bad if you give yourself that time. You will be a better mommy for it!

[annick.rauch]

My son who is almost 3 months now did and still does exactly what you're describing! Tenses his muscles and arches his back constantly! He does it most often while bottle feeding (nursing was a horrible experience for the both of us and it only lasted 2 and half weeks) and when he gets really frustrated or tired. With time, I've found tricks that help, but they never seem to last. You'll quickly realize if you haven't already that you constantly have to change your methods with babies... as soon as you think you have it figured out, they change!

Here are some things that have worked for me:
-letting him lay by himself... sometimes he just doesnt want to be bothered. he loves him gym and i often put him in there while i shower (usually right after his bottle when he's the happiest)
-giving him breaks while he's eating
-if he's frustrated as he's eating, i've put him on his change table to eat... since he's calmer there
-also, it sounds a little mean, but when he's so frustrated and tired and he tenses up, i hold him really tight and rock him while bouncing him, patting his back and shushing in his ear (anything to get him to calm down)

i don't know if you swaddle your little one, but that seems to help my son out alot.

good luck

[annick.rauch]

you know, i jsut remembered something overnight. my son also gets really tense when he's not feeling 100%. for 5 days after his 2 month shots he was really bad. he also does it when he has a tummy ache/gas or if his eczema is itching him.

[fbsurvivor]

For an active baby like that I highly recommend baby yoga.  I had a DVD and my dd loved it.  I wouldn't worry about the tense muscles.  That's probably why she's so strong.  My daughter was a lot like yours and I had a tough time nursing in public.  I think they are very frustrated that they can't get around and do everything by themselves.  As soon as my dd could sit up the world changed.  Until then, I found giving movement to them helped.  An exercise ball wasn't enough for us, but we would lift her vertically in reps as high as possible.  I would also dance with her.  It is exhausting, but you'll get in great shape.  Later on these kids are a lot of fun, but they keep you on your toes.

[MDT]

Cuddly babies...hahaha...I have no idea what those are!  I, too, was blessed with a back-arching, will-fight-everything baby.  The first time the doctor handed him to me, he lifted hsi head up and smashed it into my collarbone.  He's always been strong for his age and the constant crying we had to deal with for the first 6 months added to that.  He has a 6-pack now while most babies are little chubs!

I wish I had some suggestions for you.  The only thing I found to work was to just let him do what he wants to do.  I can't force him to do anything because that only makes the situation worse.  Also, as someone else stated, you'll find little things that work for awhile, but be prepared for them to not last too long!  A lot of times what worked for us one day didn't the next.

Also, do as Holly says and take 15 minutes for yourself to take a shower.  If I didn't put my son down in his crib to scream for a few minutes by himself while I went and did something, I never would have gotten anything done.