Sleep Training?

[Hollyadmin]

Anyone used any sleep training with their baby? I don't necessarily mean cry-it-out, but any kind of 'teaching'. Did it work?

I was big into CIO when my daughter was a baby. She was actually a terrific sleeper at night, but naps were always a struggle. She had a really hard time both falling asleep for naps and staying asleep (she was a 45 minute napper).  I eventually let her cry at naptime, because she needed to sleep and and was SO grumpy if she didn't.

With Sammy, I was much more into attachment parenting - carrying him around a lot in the sling, tried co-sleeping (didn't work), etc. I do remember when he was only about 5 weeks old, I had tried to get him to sleep for hours, and it was nearly midnight. I was exhausted. I swaddled him, put him in his swing, and said 'Good night Sammy', fully intending to come back in 5 minutes. I just needed a break.  5 minutes later I came back and he was sound asleep. That started a long stretch of him actually sleeping really well at night. It was heaven especially since the first 5 weeks he only slept 30-90 minute stretches.

Once he got a bit older and started having troubles at night, I couldn't let him cry. First, I didn't think it would work with him...I felt like he would cry until he got sick and that it wouldn't work. Also, I didn't want him to have to cry any more. So, we laid with him to help him fall asleep until he was 3. Hey, it worked. Recently we taught him to fall asleep on his own...took about a week of us moving further away from his bed, until we were eventually sitting out in the hall, and now he goes to sleep on his own with his door closed. Yay!

[sheeshoo2]

We have tried sleep training a couple of times so far.  Initially we attempted a very modified version of CIO around 4.5 months after experiencing a pretty severe sleep regression.  That lasted about 4 days (the training, that is).  Cole would scream bloody murder for as long as 5 hours sometimes...this was our cue to stop and perhaps try again later, lol.

The next time we attempted he was 6 months old and we did it for a full 14 days, to give it a "fair shot" in my book.  Cole would cry anywhere from 1 hour at the least to 3 hours at the max, but unfortunately he didn't start at 3 hours and then gradually improved...it was totally all over the map.  Again we stopped because I didn't consider what he was doing to be "progressing."

His sleep has gotten better and he has finally gotten out of the waking every 40 minutes (or every sleep cycle) habit, but he is still not where his peers are in terms of sleep.

[sunshinebaby]

We used a number of different methods for night time.  I nursed her to sleep, rocking never worked for us, we tried CIO around 5 months and it did OK until she started teething.  It was back to nursing to sleep, she'd wake up within a few hrs and I finally gave up and brought her to bed with us. Co-sleeping didn't work well for us, but it was all I could manage at the time. Around 12 months we tried CIO again, and we realized the only way it could work for us...my husband had to be the one to put her to bed.  If I was anywhere near she would flip out.  Just last month we were out of town and we were sleeping in the same room, she woke up, saw me, and screamed for an hour because she knew I was right there.

Naps are a whole other story.  I nursed her through naps until she was weaned at 16 months.  After that it was a miserable 10-40 minutes of screaming, maybe an hour of sleep.  A few months ago she stopped napping, I finally started putting on a dvd for her and she'd calm down enough to fall asleep.

[sheeshoo2]

We will be starting sleep training for the third time this coming Friday, but this time it will be with the help of Dawnn Whittaker (a sleep consultant).  Unlike the last two times, I really think that this plan may work because a) we will have total support from someone else and b) Cole has matured QUITE a bit since the last two times we tried.

[civano]

With DS1 at 5 months old we found we were pacifier retrievers and decided we needed to put a stop to it for our own sanity. I bought a book called The Sleepeasy Solution which basically just has you go into the baby's room after 5/10/15 minutes to check on the baby and then every 15 minutes thereafter if baby is upset or crying. You aren't supposed to touch the baby but talk gently to the baby encouraging them verbally about falling asleep. It also talks about the amount of sleep and naps a child needs per day and information about that. There's probably more to it than that but that's the jest of it. With DS1, he cried at first but was sleeping mostly through the night within a couple of days. He also never cried for more than 30 minutes in a night when being put down. He often would always cry or get upset about having to go to bed and still does but once asleep he's an awesome sleeper. We were blessed and didn't know it.

Now we have DS2 who is 4 months old and is a terrible sleeper. He wakes up every 1-2 hours usually and always wants to nurse. I'm not sure when we'll really start sleep training, the book we used for DS1 says they have to be 4 months and 15 pounds to start sleep training. Miles screams and screams if he's not swaddled. But as he's 4 months old, he breaks out of the swaddle easily or we're just not able to still get him into a good tight swaddle. If we give him the pacifier, he of course wakes up wanting it back. Times are rough right now. I had been hoping this would be about the time his sleep would start to get better but at times it just feels like it's worse than ever. We attempted to see if we could do the sleep training with him last night and it was so intense and I admit we gave up after almost 2 hours of screaming which also kept our good sleeper up. The book says while there are some that will go over most babies don't fuss more than an hour until they fall asleep....well not Miles. He didn't get that memo. 

[Mbrown602]

I am now reading Dr. Mark Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It's taking me a while, since I am so busy with a fussy baby during the day  My daughter will be 7 weeks on Monday, but not sure if this is too early for sleep training.

Her schedule isn't too bad right now -- it could be worse. She usually goes to bed around midnight or 1 a.m. and is up by 7. She's bottle fed, so I don't know if that has something to do with her sleeping longer at all. She's been doing this for over a week. Only problem is, it takes us hours to get her to bed. You can tell she's tired around 9-ish and she yawns and yawns but she just won't sleep. It's like she's fighting it. We'll put her in the swing, and her little eyes stay wide open. We give her a pacifier and have to keep picking it up when she drops it so she never really does get to sleep with that. If she does start to sleep with the pacifier, she wakes up when we put her in the crib. She seems to fuss for 3 hours straight like that till her next bottle at 11 or midnight, then she may go to sleep. Very frustrating.

I'm willing to try some kind of sleep training, but letting a baby this young cry it out would be hard. I tried that one night and I ended up crying too.

[nursemommy]

I dont think Cry it out is appropriate for a baby that small ( I read you should wait until they are 6 months old). You can do a sleep routine ( that payed off big time with our son).  our son goes to bed at around 6h30-7 pm every eve and starts his day at 6-6h30 am. (wakes up only once or twice in the night.) Bottle fed babies tend to sleep longer because formula is longer to digest then breastmilk. Also, you have to understand that a baby that young is not wired completely to sleep long long hours, it's actually a safety mecanism to prevent SIDS!. Sleeping through the night is 5-6 hours straight between 11h pm and 8 am. therefore, youre baby sleeps through the night! there is things you can help her do to fall asleep. I found that setting a strict routine and sticking with it helps. If she fights it, she is probably too tired.
 
With the experience, I learned that sleep training is not a permenant thing. Once the baby reaches a new milstone, get's sick, teething... most of the time, it's all to start again.

[Hollyadmin]

I am now reading Dr. Mark Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It's taking me a while, since I am so busy with a fussy baby during the day  My daughter will be 7 weeks on Monday, but not sure if this is too early for sleep training.

Her schedule isn't too bad right now -- it could be worse. She usually goes to bed around midnight or 1 a.m. and is up by 7. She's bottle fed, so I don't know if that has something to do with her sleeping longer at all. She's been doing this for over a week. Only problem is, it takes us hours to get her to bed. You can tell she's tired around 9-ish and she yawns and yawns but she just won't sleep. It's like she's fighting it. We'll put her in the swing, and her little eyes stay wide open. We give her a pacifier and have to keep picking it up when she drops it so she never really does get to sleep with that. If she does start to sleep with the pacifier, she wakes up when we put her in the crib. She seems to fuss for 3 hours straight like that till her next bottle at 11 or midnight, then she may go to sleep. Very frustrating.

I'm willing to try some kind of sleep training, but letting a baby this young cry it out would be hard. I tried that one night and I ended up crying too.

Melissa - I know it sounds counterintuitive, but have you considered putting her to bed much, much earlier? By your description, it almost sounds like she's beyond tired, to the point of being overtired. And of course that makes it much harder for them to sleep (as it does for us). It might be worth trying a super early bedtime, like even 6pm (I have friends that put their little guy down at 5:30!!)...

[Mbrown602]

A few nights I've tried putting her down at 8, but she'd wake up 15 min later. Maybe I should try an earlier time? Today, she did the same napping thing she has been doing for the past 2 weeks. She fell asleep arounde 5-ish. She's still sleeping and it's 8:45 at night now. I'm wondering if I should just take her upstairs to the crib, but she sounds like she's starting to stir now So we'll probably go through the evening crying fit all over again

[Hollyadmin]

Can you try even earlier? Like at 6pm? With our daughter, we kept trying to keep her up later at times so she would sleep longer...but then she'd be so fussy during the evening, and didn't end up sleeping any longer anyway. I think Marc Weisslbuth (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) suggests a 6-6:30pm bedtime. We still put our kids down at 7pm...they sleep in just as late as when we put them down later. In fact, when we put them to bed later, they have more interrupted sleep, and usually end up getting up even earlier in the morning!

[Mbrown602]

From what I've read, my daughter is still setting her schedule at 7 weeks. I tried for the early bed time again last night, but to no avail. I have a friend who said she will probably go to bed for me earlier by 3 months. Let's hope. I wanted to get her in bed earlier due to going back to work in 2 weeks, but we'll see. I'm a night owl, and she's probably taking after me!

[nursemommy]

do you have a set routine? I had one for my son at day 2! and it sure payed off because He clearly knows now the difference between day sleep and night sleep. he's now 5 months and has decent nights now. He goes to bed at 6h30pm-7pm and get's up once in the night and will wake up at 5h30 am. Yep I have a little rooster!!

[MDT]

I was big into CIO when my daughter was a baby. She was actually a terrific sleeper at night, but naps were always a struggle. She had a really hard time both falling asleep for naps and staying asleep (she was a 45 minute napper).  I eventually let her cry at naptime, because she needed to sleep and and was SO grumpy if she didn't.

This describes my son to a T.  I can't stand the people who say CIO is wrong and oh-so traumatizing to babies.  Those are the people who never had to deal with a baby who simply will not go to sleep at naptime or bedtime.

My son sleeps wonderfully at night now.  We usually put him in his crib between 7 or 8, then wake him up around 11 for a feed, then he'll sleep until about 8 in the morning.  This wasn't how things used to be, though.  For the first two months of his life, he would not go to sleep until midnight.  No matter what time we put him in bed, he would cry until midnight before falling asleep.  Thankfully that didn't last past two months, but we still have trouble getting him to bed without crying.  He still cries for about an hour before falling asleep, but that is slowly improving.  At first, we used to check on him while he was crying to make sure he was okay, but that seems to "reset" things, making him cry even longer before falling asleep.

Naps are the big problemw for us.  My son will stay up from the time he wakes up in the morning until the time he goes to bed at night.  He'll be yawning and grumpy the entire time, but still refuses to sleep.  Sometimes we can get him to take a morning and afternoon nap, but that's a struggle.  Some days he'll nap for hours, but most days he's a 15 minute napper.  I don't really know how you're supposed to change this.  It's not like you can force a baby to sleep.  That's why sometimes I just put him in his crib and let him cry himself to sleep.  If not for this, he would never get a nap and the entire family pays for it with the whining, fussiness and crying for the rest of the day.

[Hollyadmin]

Melissa, as you've probably discovered reading through the posts on this forum, a few of us like to recommend Harvey Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block. Have you read it yet?

[MDT]

Nope, haven't read it but I'm definitely going to check that out.