Sleep Training?

[jiwel]

I am currently reading an online book from the Sleep Sense Program and am planning on trying it with my 18 month old twins.  We have been having so many problems with ear infections in my youngest that we keep having to postpone.  You can check out the website to see if it might work for you.  It is www.sleepsense.ca.

[fbsurvivor]

MDT- For the naps you might try playing some soft music once your son is asleep.  My daycare provider did that and it helped get her to sleep longer.  That's one of the things I learned: there are some things you do to get them to sleep and other things you do to get them to stay asleep.

Also, on the CIO, have you tried doing 5 or 15 minute intervals?  Our sleep consultant had us have her cry for 5 minutes, then go in, hold her for 5 minutes, then go out (repeating until she fell asleep).  It took 3 days, but then she slept through the night and went down without any crying.  I did this at 15 months, though, as it was my last straw.  I was pretty much dead set against CIO until I was about to lose my job.   Everyone I know who hasn't done CIO, the kids don't sleep through the night until they are 2 or 3 years old.

Have you tried cosleeping?  You might try that for naps?  Sometimes I did that, especially because I would nurse my daughter to sleep while lying down and then she'd fall asleep next to me.


Also, do you have a routine before bedtime?  I've found that these high needs babies love structure and a routine really helps.  The routine our sleep consultant recommended was bath, milk, books, then bed.

[DolphineGirl]

Bedtimes are usually not as stressful as naps. Although we have had quite a few hard bedtimes when it took longer to finally put him down. But then, just as always, he slept through the night. My bigger concern is how to introduce a routine at naptimes. Right now I am trying to work on it, but it seems to be hard, as the little one tries to fight sleep, eventhough he is obviously sleepy. What I am trying to do now that after feeding him at 6 a.m. he usually falls asleep. But he only sleeps about 45 minutes. Okay, that gives me time to take a shower and have a bite to eat. But then he wakes up and I give him some play time before it is feeding time again. Now I want him to sleep about 2 hours between his 9 a.m. and 12 p.m. feedings.... but usually it does not happen either. He falls asleep after having fed him, but again for only 45 minutes. When he wakes up, he is obviously sleepy and has a hard time handling the situation of being awake. I try to help him go back to sleep. It worked yesterday, and the day before, today not so much. When it worked he went back to sleep for another 45 minutes, so a little play time again before I fed him at 12 p.m. I try to do the same with him between his 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. feedings, so far I have not been to succesful. Then after having fed him at 3 p.m, (of course weather permitting) I plan to take him for a walk. That gives me a chance to get a breath of fresh air, and in the stroller he usually falls asleep, but at least seems to be very content. Like I had two different babies. Then coming home, I would give him another hour of play time, before another feeding time comes around 6 p.m. It is the time when Daddy comes home, so I am not surprised little one does not want to sleep. Which is okay. We give him a bath every day, which is between 7.30 and 8 p.m. and then he gets his bottle....if everything works out well he is asleep at 9 p.m and does not wake up until 6 or 7 a.m. next morning...Am I too harsh on imposing this schedule on him? He is okay with these feeding times, only we have problems with the naps and he is really fussy. And right now I have a hard time carrying out simple chores around the house. We have a swing, but I do not want to use it too much, I don’t want him to hate it. Right now he loves it, and I use it if I need to do something in the kitchen, and baby does not want to sleep. Oh well... he is quite a character already, wonder who he takes after? 

[fbsurvivor]

DolphineGirl- It sounds like you're doing really well with the sleeping. Sleeping through the night!  Wow! A 45 minute nap for a fussy baby at 2 months is great.  At 2 months we were still at 20 minute naps.  I pretty much got nothing done.  My husband would come home, I thrust the baby at him, and then I'd run to do the dishes.  I loved doing dishes because I actually felt I could do something productive.   For me, just grabbing lunch had to take about 2 minutes.

And yes, it seems like the high needs babies love the outdoors.  It's a slippery slope because it seems like some of these babies need more stimulation, lots of people, lots of noise, and others are upset by too much stimulation.

[DolphineGirl]

Thank you, fbsurvivor.  How old is your baby now? When did things start getting better? I know, sleeping through the night is a real lifesafer, but it is really hard to get anything done during the day.

[fbsurvivor]

DolphineGirl- The turning point for us was 6 months.  When my daughter could sit up, it started her independence and she was much happier.  It was like a light switch, night and day.  Things started to get better at four months.  I think until then she had colic, which I would describe as more being upset because of gas.  Also, at four months they are more easily distracted.  But 6 months was really the point at which things got dramatically better.  And from what I've read that seems to be true with a lot of girls.  It sounds like the boys take much longer, maybe a year?  I don't know.  I guess that's not good news for you, but as they get older it gets easier to distract, even if they can't figure out how to calm themselves.  Lucky for you, your son can already calm himself enough to take 45 minute naps and sleep through the night. M y daughter is 18 months now.  I just put her to bed with some fussing, it's a faint reminder of those days...  It does get better at some point.

Have you had any luck with the sling?  I was never able to get it to work, but I know it's been great for some babies.  That can make it easier to get things done.  Also, I learned to do everything one handed.  And I still have to do that a lot.  Even at 18 months, my daughter quite often wants to be held at eye level so she can see everything that's going on.  She'll ask me stand up from a seated position, just so I can carry her. 

[Hollyadmin]

Dolphinegirl: I could have written exactly the same thing when my daughter was a baby! (She's almost 6 now). She slept great at night, but only ever in 45 minute stretches during the day.  And she'd wake up SO grumpy, it was obvious to me she needed more sleep. I tried EVERYTHING to get those naps longer, but I'm sorry to say nothing worked, at least not consistently. I would try sneaking in just before that 45 minute cycle ended and soothe her back, I'd try letting her cry, I'd go in and try rocking her back to sleep, nothing worked to lengthen those naps. So, I put her down 4 x a day. At first I'd rock her to sleep (that took a LOONNGGG time), and eventually, when that seemed to stimulate her even more, I'd let her cry herself to sleep. I HATED that with a passion, and often I'd sit on the other side of the door crying and praying that she'd just fall asleep.

Her naps started getting longer around 10/11 months old, around the same time she started crawling. I know that's not much consolation now though. My suggestion is this: In your mind, give up on naps. For me, it was always worst when I was counting on her napping, and then it didn't work. Make plans during the day, and try to stick to them regardless of her napping schedule. One thing that really helped my sanity - put her in a sling once a day when she neeps a nap the most, make yourself a cup of coffee to go, put on your iPod and go for a long walk. This was helpful for me because then I looked forward to at least one nap instead of dreading it.

[DolphineGirl]

Thank you for the responses! You ladies are really great support. Today has been really tough on me. First of all, I got my period last night (the first one after giving birth), no big cramps, but you know.... baby went to bed at 9 p.m. just as usual, and I thought that I could sleep until 6 a.m. just as usual. But... baby cried at 10 p.m. I ran to him, but when I got there he was only fussing around, most probably due to a bad dream or something. I did not touch him, and in 5 minutes he was back to sleep. I have to add that I have problems sleeping, my mind is set to hear all the noises he makes while sleeping, and I am really alert even at night. Anyway, at4 a.m. he started fussing again, I watched him from my bed, he did not wake up, slept until 5 a.m. But I did not. Then he woke up and asked for his bottle. I fed him (practically half asleep), and put him back to bed by 5.30 a.m. He slept almost until 7 a.m., but again I did not. I got dressed, took a shower etc. and tried to relax while he was sleeping. I could not really relax, because he had a fussy sleep. So I am just tired today, and of course I could not make him nap for more than 45 minutes, that was the longest today. You are right, I am not gonna count on his naps, and maybe this way I will get a nice surprize if he indeed naps for 2 hours or so. It happens some days, actually it happens everyweek, last week I had 4 days like that, this week it has not happened yet.

[alana.barnes]

With my AJ (who is 6 weeks), my husband and I start putting him down by 8:30, and he's usually asleep by 10:00.  He will wake up often when we do that, but we go get him, rock him a little more and try again. 

[Hollyadmin]

DolphineGirl  - What a night!  When you're getting such interrupted sleep, that makes everything worse. At least if you can sleep when they sleep, you feel somewhat rested. Here's hoping tonight is better!!