Hi everyone:
WIshing we were meeting in person but with high needs babies, getting out seems so hard sometimes. I'm writing today because I feel at the end of my rope, so depressed, so so much. I feel like an awful mom because my 7 month old is so much, never seems to be happy but when he's with his dad. He screams so much, eating is an ordeal, sleeping (what's that?!) everything. I know I am supposed to give up on my dream of what I thought life would be like with my little one, but he is exhausting, never wants to be put down, but still unhappy when held. Wants me to move constantly, but even that doesn't help. I'm so tired, we have so few happy moments and I am hating myself for feeling that - I feel like I don't like my baby! I hate even writing that! I love him dearly, of course, and would do anything for him, and AM! But I am so depressed because nothing is ever any good - he's crying, I thought he went down for a short nap, gotta go!
Hi! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to reply to this. I keep opening up this message to respond and then something comes up!
I can hear your desperation, and can definitely understand it. When my Sammy was a few weeks old, I remember a friend calling and asking how things were going. I remember responding in tears, 'I'm at the end of my rope. I don't think I can do this anymore'. And if you know me, you know I don't say things like that lightly. So I understand!
It's so hard when there's no positive experiences to draw on when things are bad. I don't know if you feel like this, but at times I've felt (and know others who have too) like I loved Sammy intellectually, but definitely didn't feel that love. I knew I would do anything for him, but I didn't feel that warm, fuzzy feeling toward him. In fact, just the opposite. Especially at the beginning. It's hard when you're constantly giving, giving, giving, doing the best you can, and they're still not satisfied. It's exhausting and draining.
Can I make a suggestion? (for what it's worth, take it or leave it). At 7 months, I think he's old enough to have some sleep routine/structure. Even if that means letting him cry. For me, letting a baby cry is a last resort, but you are so exhausted, and it sounds like he is too. I have talked to many parents who had difficult babies, and once sleep training was done, they and their baby were like new people.
Your little guy may certainly be High Need (sounds like it for sure), but it sounds like his behaviour and crying is exacerbated by lack of sleep. And this makes things harder for both you than they need to be. If you need tips or ideas for sleep, feel free to email me or ask for help from the wonderful ladies on this board.
Hang in there. ((HUGS))
