10-Month Old Fussy Guy

[SadMama]

 

Hi All -

I'm new to the site and thought I would post. I have a 10-month old son who was a fussy baby - would cry all day unless I was pushing him in the stroller or bouncing him on the ball. He slept well at night once we got him to sleep but would not nap at all during the day. I found that I could get him to sleep if I wrapped him tight and bounced him on a stability ball very hard. Actually it was a little weird how much I had to bounce him to get him to sleep - he seemed to need soooo much swinging/bouncing motion. The fussiness got a bit better by 6 months though and we thought it was going to improve gradually.

Two months ago I eliminated all dairy from his diet due to gastro issues he was having - and miraculously they cleared up, his dry skin/eczema cleared up completely and he was much less fussy. So I thought it was the end of his fussiness - even though I felt soooo bad for not knowing about the dairy problem. My guy must have been in pain for so long 

Anyway - it didn't go away - my fussy baby has turned into a fussy pre-toddler. He is 10 months now and not crawling (he was 1 month prem), so depends on me to get him from sitting to standing to lying down. I'm not sure if he should be doing these things by now, but he doesn't which worries me. But what he does do is whine all day long. All day - every exhale is whining. I really think I am going insane. He seems to want something all the time but I have absolutely no idea what it is - he just looks at me with an unhappy expression and whines so loudly. It's like a whine/cry/yell sound - but he's not actually crying. Can anyone relate to this? I don't know if he is frustrated about not being able to crawl, or not being able to communicate. I have been doing signing with him since he was 6 months, but I don't think he has any idea. I don't know if he even knows who we are actually. He doesn't seem comforted by me at all, and is the same whether I am there or in the other room. I am so worried about him. I feel like he is losing out on everything being so unhappy - he doesn't really play, just for a few minutes before losing interest.

Well I've gone on long enough - I could post so much more - arg

[Hollyadmin]

Welcome, although I'm sorry you have need to be here

Everything you wrote sounds VERY familiar to me (and I'm sure to many of us). In terms of your son's physical development, I wouldn't worry. My daughter was late at everything, and while it was annoying for us at the time, she eventually did everything and was fine.

We noticed a big change in Sammy the very day he started crawling. It was like he was finally able to get where he wanted to go, and his fussiness decreased substantially. When he started walking, we noticed more improvement. When he started talking, more improvement still.

I definitely relate to feeling like your son is never happy. I used to look at Sammy and think, 'you have everything you need, WHY can't you just be content??'. My personal, totally non-scientific opinion on this is that high need or 'spirited' babies/toddlers are hyper-sensitive to everything...the slightest discomfort (hunger, thirst, wet diaper), to boredom (play for 2 minutes, and then start whining), to separation anxiety (you can't even *think* about leaving the room to go to the bathroom without them crying). At least for my son, when we were doing things that were super-intense, like bouncing or swinging him (BIG bounces, and BIG swinging), were around LOUD droning noises, in crowds, or basically doing anything that a normal person would find totally assaulting to the senses, that's what calmed Sammy. It's like they need that intense stimulation from the outside to distract them from the discomfort they feel on the inside.

[SadMama]

Thanks for the reply 

My guy is exactly the same when it comes to going places that offer tons of stimulus!! People just roll their eyes at me when I mention that my son can be a handful because when we are out and about (especially if there is lots of noise, traffic, tons of people and action going on) he just calmly takes everything in. But when we are at home it is a different story altogether. He will tolerate me carrying him in the carrier or pushing him in the stroller - as long as I don't stop moving!!!

I know he is also especially sensitive to frustration - if he wants to stand up and I am not there to help him, he has a complete meltdown. He also wants to check everything out, but can't get to where he wants to go, so same story - whining, crying, complete meltdown.

I agree - I think it will get better when he can express what he wants and get to where he wants to go. When he first started eating (we did baby led weaning) it was about a month of complete tantrums before he could pick up things well without frustration. Now he rarely tantrums when eating and eats really well, so I really think he has problems dealing with frustration!!

[sombrabella]

You definitely have a high needs baby!  Check out Dr. Sear's book, "The Fussy Baby Book".  It was a godsend for me!!!

[fbsurvivor]

Frustration is exactly it.  I figured that out early on because that is exactly how my husband is.  I took the approach of doing everything I could to get my daughter to learn how to do things herself because of that.  It sounds like with your son that may take some creativity.  It's like the terrible twos from the moment they come out.