4 Month Old High Need Baby & First Time Mommy

[hm]

Hello & I'm so glad to find this website!

I'm the mom of a 4 month old baby who cannot be put down or else he cries.  He takes naps only if I am next to him - somehow he can sense when I've gone out of the room - and wakes up and cries. It's the same routine each night - he lies in my bed to nurse & fall asleep - then we move him to his crib, where he usually wakes up and cries again.  On the plus side, once he is asleep he will sleep for 9 hours solid in his crib at nights. My husband & I do not believe in letting him 'cry it out'.  I've tried that and he is such a persistant little guy that he never fell asleep (like everyone says they do).  (Plus, I just don't believe that it's right to let a baby cry for hours at a time.)

I'm reading the book "The Fussy Baby" by William Sears -- my son definitely fits the description.  

Just looking to connect with some other parents of 'fussy babies'!

 

[Hollyadmin]

Hi! I'm so glad you found this site too!

I was out with a friend yesterday who has a 3 year old, and a 3 month old. Her first was/is very high maintenance...he was exactly like you describe your son (crying if put down, lots of troubles sleeping, etc.). Now her second is SO laid back...she can lay him on the floor on his tummy and he'll stay like that for half an hour no problem. She says 'now I understand what it's like for other parents'!

You're right in that if your little one is very persistent (aka stubborn ) letting them cry is often not the solution. For instance, with my son, we didn't do CIO (cry it out) because I was convinced he would cry for 12 hours. Even now, he can't do time outs alone in his room.  He will cry and scream and throw things.  I think he gets scared being left alone like that. Worked great with my daughter. Every kids is so different!

[sombrabella]

HM,

My son Elliot was exactly the same way at 4 mos--I wore him in a sling almost constantly.  At 7 mos. he still sleeps in our bed at night and I have to nurse him to sleep for naps.  Sometimes I can get up and he will stay asleep, but never for long!  It's like you said, he can sense when I've left the bed!  It can be very frustrating.  Elliot has calmed down a LOT in the last 3 months, and I have faith that one day he will be sleeping on his own.  All children do eventually! However, in the meantime, it is so great to have this forum and to have books like The Fussy Baby book for support. 

[fbsurvivor]

One trick that sometimes works is to have them fall asleep on a towel or a baby blanket on your bed and then you can use the blanket to lift them up with less disturbance.  Then keep rocking the baby back and forth as you move them to the crib and lower them.  You have to be super smooth about this and always keep the motion going.  Then, you can either be OK with loose blankets or tuck them into the sides of the mattress so you don't have loose blankets in the crib.  It's a lot of work, and doesn't always work, but when you're at the end of your rope with having to lie completely still next to a very fussy baby, it can give you some sleep free of baby.  We also kept our dd in a carseat, so we'd move her with the blanket to a carseat.  My husband was far steadier at this than I was, but there were many times that it did work.