Mom to 3 month old fussy baby

[jenjen0623]

I am so happy I found this site!  The description of a high needs baby fits my daughter perfectly!  It is good to finally have a name for how she acts.  It is hard to explain to others what she is like.  Everyone I know has or had easy babies and has no idea how hard it is to have a baby like Kendra.  They don't understand that things that work for easy babies are not going to work for her.  We are not spoiling her, but trying to keep her happy.  I get jealous when I hear about my friend's easy babies!  I feel like I am probably judged based on Kendra's behavior.  It is good to hear about other people who have similar babies and understand what we are going through!  We were hoping that things would get better at three months, but she is now 14 weeks and there does not seem to be an end in sight to the fussiness/neediness.  Does it eventually get better?

[Hollyadmin]

Welcome here Jen! I'm so happy you found the site too. I started this site largely to address 'colic' and fussiness, but it seems to me that many visitors to the site and our Facebook group have babies with 'spirited' or high need temperaments. You are definitely not alone!

To answer your question, YES, it does get better!  Sometimes it feels like it will never be any better, but high need babies typically start to get a lot easier once they learn new milestones - crawling, walking, talking, etc. We too kept waiting for the colic to end, although I think I knew it was more than 'colic'. Around 4 months old, I came to the realization that this is just who he was. He felt things passionately and wasn't afraid to let us know!!

Sammy is 3.5 years old now. He's a joy. He can also be a major pain the butt lol. But I wouldn't change him for anything. His 'terrible two's' were horrendous...but still nothing like those first months.  So, the hardest part is behind you!

 

[annick.rauch]

for me, there are good days and bad days. as soon as i think i've figured out a trick that works and have a few good days, it all comme tumbling down again and i have to try a million other new things.

it's not always easy, but at least we have eachother on this site who understand! like you said, it's hard when the ppl around you don't get it!

[donnag]

Welcome Jen - I know how you feel! I have a now 6 month old high needs baby girl and all I can say is hang on in there!!! I know it is hard especially when friends have 'easy' babies - it can be so disheartening.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel after 5 and a half months of hell - one day our little girl just seemed happier and at the moment it has stayed that way. I heard from a couple of other moms on here that high needs babies usually start getting better around the 6 month mark - I hope this will happen for you too. I know when you are in the fussy/demanding nightmare a day can seem like forever let alone a few months, but it will get easier. Lara still needs a lot of stimulation, but as long as she gets it she seems happy.

It is always hard for people with 'easy' babies to understand those with high needs babies - it took me too long to stop comparing my baby with others! She is who she is and I wouldn't chnage her - she seems so much more alert and interested in the world than thoses 'easy' babies. I even sometimes think that having an 'easy' baby may be too boring for me now

Anyway, just wanted to say hi and give you some hope that things will get better - you will always find help and support on this site when you need it

[jenjen0623]

Thanks for all the support in your posts! 

[sombrabella]

Donna,

I just want to second what you said about loving your little one the way he/she is...we may have babies who are demanding, but I agree that they are more alert and inquisitive than 'easy' babies.  My son is 7 months but often mistaken for an older baby.  He is very interactive with people, even strangers (as long as they don't hold him, lol!)  He is still fussy when he's tired, bored, or hungry, but aren't we all? 

I have started to find more moms locally, in playgroups and such, who have had a fussy baby or spirited child.  It may take them some time to admit it, probably because they are afraid of being judged, but I find that if I talk freely about my son's behavior it usually breaks the ice