Becoming a mom is amazing. BUT. Why does there always have to be a “but” attached to something good? Well, as with any major life change, becoming a mom can come with growing pains… and pretty tough ones at times. For me, it was the colic. The damn colic. My son didn’t sleep for about a year. Ok maybe longer. He’s 2.5 now and still wakes up in the middle of the night screaming.
“He’ll outgrow the colic,” the doctors told me. “Most kids outgrow it by the three month mark.”
I still can vividly remember one evening when I was rocking him, feeding him, rocking him, trying to get him to stop crying. It was so loud. I felt helpless.
I stopped, took a deep breath and thought to myself, wow, I can’t believe how much patience I have. This is pretty tough, but at least it can’t get much worse than this, right?
Then it happened. At that exact moment, he threw up all over me. WOW, I thought again.
It was a sign from above: Honey, the fun is only just beginning. Get your game face on. You’re in for a bumpy ride.
Oh and what a ride it was. He cried everywhere we went. I took him to family parties. He cried the entire time. I took him to the store. He screamed until he threw up in the aisle. I took him to moms groups. He screamed so loud he startled the other babies. And in every circumstance, they stared. Boy did they stare. The aunts, the friends, the cashier, the “mom friends”. They looked at me like it was something I was doing. How could a child cry so much? Why can’t she calm him? Some of them offered to help and instead of trying to explain that there was no use, I let them try and they failed. This kiddo was giving me a run for my money.
Eventually we discovered that food allergies was escalating the problem. After several trips to the doctor and specialists, our 6-month-old was diagnosed with severe acid reflux, eczema, milk and soy protein sensitivities, peanut and tree nut allergies. A couple months later we added egg allergy to the list. And because his system had been challenged with these ingredients via my breastmilk, his immune system started to attack EVERYTHING, including hypoallergenic formula. Hives everywhere.
The good news: after months of clearing my own body and breastmilk of allergens, Jack’s system began to settle down. Eventually he didn’t throw up after every feeding and he finally was able to tolerate some foods.
We made it, I thought to myself.
Well, we made it through THAT bump.
Months passed and he began throwing up in the car again. This time it was different. He batted his ears and moved his head back and forth. He screamed. Oh, did he scream.
We regularly checked him for ear infections and while most of the time he didn’t have one, there were a few times he did and the doctors prescribed antibiotics. Unfortunately he was allergic to three different antibiotics. Meanwhile he wasn’t talking at all. He could scream, but no words. When we called for him, he didn’t always turn around. When we finally were able to take him to the ear doctor, they explained that he had partial hearing loss in both ears from clear fluid buildup.
Ear tubes were a no brainer. And they definitely helped. He stopped screaming and throwing up (uncontrollably at least).
Downhill from here, I told myself.
“Guess again”, the voice from above replied.
Enter present day.
All along, the doctors and specialists told me that my child would outgrow the colic. I mean technically he would need to because the word colic is specific to babies and he is now a toddler. And what a feisty one he is.
So when Holly reached out to me and asked that we partner so she could provide her audience with a channel to meet other moms experiencing similar challenges, I was surprised to learn that colic often doesn’t go away. She asked that in addition to adding the category “Colic”, to Mom Meet Mom, we include “Spirited/High Needs”. I was skeptical. I had never heard the term before. Then she explained what it meant.
As the words came through the phone, all I could do was picture my little toddler- my maniac – slamming his head against the wall when he doesn’t get his way. Holding his breath when he gets so upset from pain or frustration. Or sticking his hands down his throat to make himself vomit when he is angry. And then there are the nights when he wakes up screaming for no reason. The many nights… Could my son be spirited?
Then Holly shared that 80 % of her audience is spirited/high needs. Most of which dealt with the colic phase and when their child never outgrew it, they didn’t know where to turn. Moms Like Me.
So with that, I welcome all of you colic moms, high needs moms, spirited moms, to join Mom Meet Mom and help me to get the word out of other moms like us, so that we can begin to connect and plan playdates with other moms who have children who make things like playdates, welp, a bit more interesting, right?
I bet you’re now asking – How do I find other moms of colicky babies and, high needs/spirited toddlers near me via Mom Meet Mom?
Well first, it might take some time. We just recently added this as a search and profile category which means we need to give moms some time to add it to their profiles. To add it to your profile simply log into your Mom Meet Mom account, edit your profile and in the Children section under “Family Challenges”, select either colic or high needs/spirited.
To search for other moms near you (or online) who have colicky babies or spirited/high needs children, simply leverage our MomFinder advanced search tool. Under the advanced categories section, select either colic or high needs/spirited.
What can you do to help us get the word out to more colic, high needs/spirited moms?
Please, spread the word. When you are in forums where there are other moms with colicky babies and high need/spirited kids, please share Mom Meet Mom with them. We all know how isolating it can be to cope with these challenges alone. Every mom should have the opportunity to get out with like-minded moms in the area… moms who understand what you’re going through. Moms who will be there for you on those tougher days.
Stop Crying, Calm Down, and Other Things We Tell Our High Need Kids
How to Distract a High Need Baby or Toddler
How to Thrive with a High Need Child
How to Help Your Child With Transitions
5 Ways To Keep a High Need Baby or Toddler Entertained
Meg’s Story: An Invitation to Meet Colicky, High Need and Spirited Moms Near You