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Facebook Group FAQs
What groups do you offer, and where can I find them?
We currently have 3 private Facebook support groups, depending on your child’s age. You are welcome to join one, two or all three simultaneously if you would find that helpful!
Parents of fussy, colicky or high need babies, 0-1
Parents of spirited toddlers and preschoolers, 1-5
Parents of school-aged spirited kids, 5+
Are these groups just for moms? Can dads join too?
The groups are for caregivers of fussy or spirited babies and kids. We welcome grandparents, daycare providers, older siblings and of course, parents (both moms and dads). We also welcome professionals who would like to learn more about the struggles of parents with fussy or spirited kids, however we ask that you not post or promote your business in any way within the groups.
Please note that while we allow and encourage venting in our groups, comments or posts that include negative generalizations of dads will be removed. Please help us keep our groups a warm, supportive place for dads too!
What are the main rules of the groups that I should know about?
Please check the rules in the files section of the groups for our complete list of guidelines. However, to make things simple, here are the most important ones:
- Support or scroll. We welcome parents of all parenting styles, so if you disagree with the content of a post, please scroll by without commenting or leaving a sad/angry emoji.
- No sleep drama or debate. This subject comes up often within the groups. If you don’t believe in/use sleep training, that’s cool. If you do, that’s also cool. Same goes for co-sleeping. Just note that sleep isn’t up for debate in any way, shape or form. We respect a parent’s right to choose what’s best for their family.
- No business promotion or sales. Like, none. Promoting or mentioning your sleep coaching business, MLM products, blog, or Facebook group link will result in removal from the group.
- Keep conversations on topic. Because the groups are so large, we ask that posts stay focused on getting advice and support regarding your fussy/spirited child, and on serious life issues (relationships, mental health concerns, etc.). Sorry, no memes, requests for votes, or general questions allowed!
If there is no business promotion allowed, why do I sometimes see posts promoting a product or business?
Occasionally we will partner with businesses that have awesome products geared towards fussy babies and spirited kids. When we do this, it will be clear that the post has been approved by me (Holly), and that it is a sponsored post.
I have a product or service that would really help your members. How can I let them know about it?
If you have a business and would like to let our 50,000+ members know about it, send me an email and let’s chat. If your product or service is a good fit, we offer sponsored posts and giveaways in the groups.
What is the purpose of these groups?
While I will occasionally share tips, strategies and blog posts within the groups, the primary purpose is peer-to-peer support. The groups are great for feeling understood, for venting, and for hearing a wide range of views on a particular topic. However, you may also get advice that doesn’t align with your own parenting values. You may also hear strong language and see posts that make you uncomfortable. Unfortunately, as we want our members to feel free to share in a non-judgemental space, this is just part of the package!
If you’re looking for gentle, research-based, non-punitive strategies and tips for parenting your spirited baby or child, I have written several eBooks on various topics, offer 1-on-1 parenting consultations, and have created an online course for our members. You can purchase or find more info on these here:
The Fussy Baby Survival Guide: Practical Strategies for Spirited Kids 0-5
Sleep Training and High Need Babies
Everything You Need to Know About Colic (and Nothing You Don’t)
Parent Your Spirited Child with Confidence Online Course
Who runs these groups?
Hi, I’m Holly! You’ve probably seen my name and posts around the group 🙂 I started this website (The Fussy Baby Site) in 2007 when my son, Sammy, was just 5 months old. The groups grew out of the website, as a way to provide peer support to parents. I have a Master’s degree in Family & Human Development, and specialize in working with parents of spirited kids. I know firsthand how frustrating and overwhelming it can be to have a spirited child…and have also had the honour of seeing how amazing these kids can turn out! You can find out more about my consulting services and products here.
What do I do if I’m concerned about the mental health of a member, or about the safety of a child?
Due to the nature of the groups, there will be many posts addressing sensitive issues like postpartum depression, anxiety, etc. There will also be posts where moms are venting about their child (and you may feel really uncomfortable with the tone of these posts!). If you have serious concerns about a member or a child, please message an admin to let us know. We have a mandated reporter on our admin team for the sole purpose of evaluating these types of posts (and deciding whether further action is warranted). In rare cases, we may report a post to Facebook and/or to the local authorities.
How do members get removed from the group?
We have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to shaming and just generally being mean to other members! This will result in immediate removal, without a warning. If you break one of our other rules, your post will be removed and you’ll receive a notification letting you know why it was removed. You may also be muted temporarily, as a reminder to review the group guidelines. We remove members who consistently show they can’t follow or don’t respect the rules.
What are dragons and unicorns, and why do I keep hearing about them in the groups?
These are terms that have emerged in our groups over the years. They are used to describe challenging and easy babies.
A unicorn baby is a mythical creature who falls asleep easily (and stays asleep), falls into regular routines, and is happy and content most of the time. They are a pleasure to have around! You might hear the parents of a unicorn baby saying, “I love having a baby!” or “This parenting thing is easier than I thought!”. In other words, a unicorn baby is simply an easy baby :).
A high need baby (or “dragon“), on the other hand, often has trouble sleeping, feeding and may be grumpy or discontent much of the time. They tend to be more vocal about their displeasure, resist routine (even though they often thrive once they’re used to one), may have extreme separation-sensitivity and generally feel things very intensely. Parents of high need babies may need to be more flexible with their parenting style to accommodate the needs of their child.
I would love to meet local parents who are dealing with the same things. How do I do this?
In our baby and toddler/preschooler groups, we have posts where you can find out where other members live, as well as add your own info. Find your state, province or country on the post, then click “reply” to add your own info.