The Fussy Baby Site

Nothing is Wrong…She’s Just a High Need Baby

Baby with tears rolling down cheeks

I’ve spent more than 8 months wondering what was wrong with my baby, testing various theories, hating myself, resenting her, fighting with my husband, and getting nowhere. I’ve finally figured it out.


Nothing is wrong with her.

She cries a lot, yes. But she also talks a lot. She has a greater variety of vocalizations than I’ve ever heard on a baby her age. Probably the whole alphabet, excepting maybe ‘q,’ plus raspberries, tongue clicks, whispering. I mean, come on, what baby whispers?

I’ll have to read up on the requirements, but she may in fact be a genius.

She has trouble sleeping. A lot of trouble. But when she does sleep, her favorite place to be is lying next to me, nuzzling her nose into my neck. I can drift off kissing the top of her fuzzy head and holding her tiny, soft hands. I can wake up that way, too.

She has separation anxiety. Severe separation anxiety. Like, to the point that she cries every time I leave AND enter a room. She wants to be in my arms 24 hours a day. Nobody else in the whole world loves me that intensely. My husband and kids love me deeply, too, but not like that.

She’s wary of ‘strangers.’ Which includes close family members who don’t happen to live with us. But the way that little girl lights up when she sees her dad or brothers is absolutely electrifying. No smile in existence is as contagious as that one.

She gets bored at home; fusses after 2 minutes of playing with her 101 toys. But she’s an absolute delight when we’re out and about. Her huge, gorgeous, blue eyes take everything in. She notices everything, watches everybody, silently. I can only imagine what’s going on inside that head.

She MUST know something I don’t.

She never stops moving. Even when she’s nursing. She has a knack for pointing out where you have extra skin you didn’t know about. Like on your collarbone. Just enough extra skin to fit under her fingernails. But she has found more ways to move across a floor than I could have ever come up with.

I have a ‘High Need Baby,’ and there’s nothing wrong with that.

This is a post from one of our moms on our Fussy Baby Site Facebook group. This is used with her permission. Thank you for this beautiful reminder!


 The Fussy Baby Survival Guide Ebook coverIf you’re looking for more answers and guidance regarding your high need or fussy child, you might be interested in my new ebook, The Fussy Baby Survival Guide. It’s jam-packed with information, strategies, stories and the full results of two surveys I’ve done of parents of high need babies.  It answers questions like:

  • How do I know if my baby is colicky, high need, or something else entirely?
  • Will my high need baby ever get easier? And if so, WHEN?
  • Is “high need” a real thing? Is there any research to back it up?
  • What are the most effective strategies for helping my high need baby sleep?
  • How do I deal with my child’s INTENSE tantrums?

For more info or to grab your copy now, click here!


Image courtesy daveynin of under CC 2.0

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