The Fussy Baby Site

Top 10 Survival Tips For Parents of High Need Babies

Crying baby with striped shirt

Note: This post was recently written by one of the moms in our private Facebook group. I couldn’t have said it better myself! This is shared here with her permission. 

So in these past short 3 months, I’ve started creating a list of things/tips, etc. that only fellow mamas/parents of high needs babies will understand. If you’re one of those parents… then you will understand the following:

1. There is no such thing as “sleep when your baby sleeps”.

High need babies don’t sleep. Their naps consist of a long blink. Then bam. Awake.

2. You will never be able to stand and not sway or bounce or rock.

Why? Because our high need babies will never let you stop moving. They need consistent movement.

3. Your back/shoulders will both need to be replaced soon.

Why? Because our high need babies don’t tolerate being put down. You can fight it all you want but it’s easier to just accept it. Your life is doomed. Always holding this baby. Babywearing becomes your best friend.

4. You might develop a bladder infection…or many.

Why? See number three. We can’t even get a second to pee.

5. Give up the fight about cosleeping/bedsharing.

These high need babies don’t give a crap about sleeping in their own bed. And especially since they wake up all the time, it’s just easier to give in.

6. Be prepared to go broke from Amazon prime benefits.

You see something that you think might help your high baby. Maybe a toy. A swaddle. A blanket., etc. It will be here in 24 hours thanks to Amazon Prime! Score.

7. Be prepared to return all these said items to Amazon after yet another fail.

Editor’s note: ‘Nuff said?

8. Your car trips will never be the same again. Never.

Why? Because high need babies HATE their car seats. And I mean despise. You would think you were poking them with hot daggers. Nope…be prepared to develop anxiety over going anywhere that includes a car seat!!

9. Be prepared to never have a moment to yourself.

Because if you walk away from a high need baby the shit will hit the fan. Buy many bouncy seats. One for the kitchen. One for the family room. One for the bathroom. Etcetera. Because you will forever be taking your high need baby everywhere you go.

10. Buy headphones.

A really good pair. A high need baby doesn’t cry. Oh no: They scream. Like a blood curdling scream. Like a hyena kinda. And it’s always a scream. They go zero to a hundred in .0005 seconds. Be ready.

But my top tip: try to stay strong.

It’s a hard road. Every day is difficult. You want to give up. You ask, “Why me?” There is no answer. It’s just the hand we were dealt. Another tip.. don’t listen to anyone that hasn’t had a baby like this or been around one.

I promise you.. these high needs babies do exist. Very much so. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s your fault. Or you’re spoiling them. Or anything else that you “should” or “could” be doing. Because I promise you… I never thought babies could truly be like this. Until I had one.

Be prepared to lose a lot of friends because they don’t understand why you can’t go anywhere or hang out and just “bring your cute little baby”. Be prepared for people to judge you. Offer to these said people to come babysit your high needs baby for an hour.

They will then see why this list exists!!!!


Need more info and support to help you survive (and thrive) with your high need child?


It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and resentful when you have a high need or spirited child. No one ever tells you parenting can be THIS hard! If you’re looking for practical strategies for parenting a high need child, or just reassurance that what you’re going through is normal, you might be interested in my new ebook, The Fussy Baby Survival Guide.

Check it out now


photo credit: Hoola Tallulah Sometimes Smiles are Overated via photopin (license)